How can you end up a friendship just like that?
If this was going to happen, it should happen at the beginning of the year, after the chat we had with our mediator. After that, I did not contact you for two weeks, as I did not want you to continue to be misled. But you continue to contact me, and confide in me as a friend, and you knew that our relationship was only friends. I tried so hard to treat you in a way that ensured you understood that we were just friends for the past year, and I think I have achieved this.
A few months ago, you organised a dinner with me before Christmas. You said this was important and that we should have that dinner before Christmas.
And at the dinner you told me that we should just end our friendship as emotionally you are not able to cope. Then if that's the case, then why did you continue to act in the same way for the past few months, calling me at 3am in the morning to talk to me when you were upset, and asking me for advice in relation to your life decisions?
Isn't it a bit selfish of you to dictate the terms of our friendship?
And you asked me to tell you what I think you need to improve in terms of your personality. I mentioned things which I and others can see, such as your need to be willing to "walk" with your partner on a path together (and not let him do all the work while you sit back and complain that it is all too hard). I told you that you need to be more appreciative of others (and not just superficially, or talk about your discontentment of them behind their back). You seem to not be able to take these things, and justified that you would be doing these things. I did not say anything further as you were not able to cope.
I think these are your blind spots, and that you will continue to struggle in relationships if you do not deal with these issues.
Maybe it is better this way... I don't know... I respect you as a friend so that was why I allowed you to do whatever you want in this situation. But your actions in this confirmed my comments relating to how you deal with things, and that not everyone can cope with you.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It's over
Due to the economic downturn, I was asked to leave my place of employment on the same day. When this happens, it puts so much things into perspective. All those hours at work, not eating on time, working late and mentoring others do not really amount to anything in the end if the times are bad. The identity that I have associated with my work was over in an instant.
To the firm, I was just another number, maybe a very expensive number, and when profits decline, I would need to go, so as to maintain their existing level of profit.
But what they do not realise is that all of us being made to leave have to deal with so much emotions, including our sense of loss of value or shame from their actions.
There is a sense of relief from all this - my growing frustrations with my boss and the management of the firm has now come to an end. I have so much free time for myself, that I can refocus on my physical and mental health and well being.
If I have made an impact on the lives of others at my workplace, through my work ethics and personality towards others, treating all staff with respect and acting in humility, then all is not lost. The compliments I have received from my colleagues have been positive and supportive.
The other thing which surprised me about this incident is the number of friends who came to me afterwards, telling me about their past experiences in being in the same situation (which they never told others about).
The real issue now is what I should be doing from now on. This is a question I have been avoiding which I will need to address in the new year.
To the firm, I was just another number, maybe a very expensive number, and when profits decline, I would need to go, so as to maintain their existing level of profit.
But what they do not realise is that all of us being made to leave have to deal with so much emotions, including our sense of loss of value or shame from their actions.
There is a sense of relief from all this - my growing frustrations with my boss and the management of the firm has now come to an end. I have so much free time for myself, that I can refocus on my physical and mental health and well being.
If I have made an impact on the lives of others at my workplace, through my work ethics and personality towards others, treating all staff with respect and acting in humility, then all is not lost. The compliments I have received from my colleagues have been positive and supportive.
The other thing which surprised me about this incident is the number of friends who came to me afterwards, telling me about their past experiences in being in the same situation (which they never told others about).
The real issue now is what I should be doing from now on. This is a question I have been avoiding which I will need to address in the new year.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Tension
Living constantly in a tension and struggle between independence and obedience. If things have worked out differently, I would be independent by now, with dependents. I would be able to manage. But since things did not work out that way, can't I be independent? Independence does not necessarily result in disobedience, but when cultural influences are at play, it is very hard for me and them. They don't understand my need to have my personal space. This struggle has caused many arguments and disagreements, and silence on this issue doesn't mean I am not thinking about it. This is so hard to fathom.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Hardship
It is a privilege to serve God, but when I have been placed in a certain position, it is very hard to do so. People around me do not appreciate how much things I have on, and with the commencement of my new role at church, I had to prioritise my ministry with the result of refusing to serve in some areas. As a result, other people get upset at me. Why? Don't they understand the struggles I am facing in terms of my time allocation? I have so much things to do for church, and I still have to work and run my own life. Can't they just show some sense of empathy?
It is also frustrating at times, as there are so much things I know but I can't share with anyone else, either because it will adversely affect others, or because I am trying to protect my people from harsh critiscims. This is a side of minsitry which people do not understand. I have personally seen how some leaders who are big mouths tell people everything, with the result of stumbling other people, and I do not want to be like them. So I carry alot of these burdens within me, without being able to release them.
At times, it seems like I am running this race alone, but I know God is always there beside me. I will focus on the eternal glory of being with God and continue on. I pray that God will give me strength, and that I can become a stronger person through all these things.
It is also frustrating at times, as there are so much things I know but I can't share with anyone else, either because it will adversely affect others, or because I am trying to protect my people from harsh critiscims. This is a side of minsitry which people do not understand. I have personally seen how some leaders who are big mouths tell people everything, with the result of stumbling other people, and I do not want to be like them. So I carry alot of these burdens within me, without being able to release them.
At times, it seems like I am running this race alone, but I know God is always there beside me. I will focus on the eternal glory of being with God and continue on. I pray that God will give me strength, and that I can become a stronger person through all these things.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Uncertainty
My bad boss tried to introduce me to a nice Christian "girl" the other day at lunch.
I enjoyed our conversation, which was mainly focused on religious issues. She was sharing her burden for her unbelieving family, her decision to take one year out of work to do bible college and her views on various Christianity issues. But she was old, at least two or more years older than me.
Maybe my uncertainty in relationships is my desire to have in a partner the spiritual maturity of an older person without the age associated with that maturity. Maybe that is why it has been so difficult to find someone until this point in time.
The road ahead will be harder and harder if I cannot reach a compromise in relation to these features. Before long, I will be an old man, always alone, always grumbling, always by myself.
I enjoyed our conversation, which was mainly focused on religious issues. She was sharing her burden for her unbelieving family, her decision to take one year out of work to do bible college and her views on various Christianity issues. But she was old, at least two or more years older than me.
Maybe my uncertainty in relationships is my desire to have in a partner the spiritual maturity of an older person without the age associated with that maturity. Maybe that is why it has been so difficult to find someone until this point in time.
The road ahead will be harder and harder if I cannot reach a compromise in relation to these features. Before long, I will be an old man, always alone, always grumbling, always by myself.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
World Youth Day 2008
Even though there are inherent differences between Christians and Catholics, there are many similarities between the two religions. We all believe in God, the Trinity - the Father, being the creator of heaven and earth; the Son, being our Lord and Saviour and the Holy Spirit, our comforter. It is because of these similarities that we should all support World Youth Day to the extent we can.
This event brings religion to the forefront again, and we should cherish this opportunity to discuss such issues with the people around us, as the awkwardness is minimised due to this current event. We can explain our faith to others, and telling them about why we believe in Christ, and why we believe in the Holy Word of God alone.
We should learn from the devotional nature of the pilgrims, who traveled far and wide to this place, where they can worship the Lord together. We, on the other hand, struggle just to get out of bed and be at church on time.
We should make use of this time, as this type of event may not occur again anytime soon in our home town.
This event brings religion to the forefront again, and we should cherish this opportunity to discuss such issues with the people around us, as the awkwardness is minimised due to this current event. We can explain our faith to others, and telling them about why we believe in Christ, and why we believe in the Holy Word of God alone.
We should learn from the devotional nature of the pilgrims, who traveled far and wide to this place, where they can worship the Lord together. We, on the other hand, struggle just to get out of bed and be at church on time.
We should make use of this time, as this type of event may not occur again anytime soon in our home town.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Hair cuts
Well, alot of people wonder why I bother getting hair cuts since my hair is thinning and I do not have much hair left.
Well at this point in time, I still have hair growing around the side of my head, and they grow long, so I need to keep it short.
I used to get cheap haircuts, and at one stage even contemplated asking my friend to cut for me, as I know I don't have that much hair. But recently I have been going to exclusive salons to get my hair cut.
My thinking is that I may not have that much hair left in the future to go to a salon, so while I still can, I should enjoy myself.
An exclusive salon brings me relaxation with the music and the environment. The head massage given during the hair wash is fantastic. The friendliness and the service all contributes to a worthwhile experience.
And best of all, even though my hair cut is short, they spend over an hour cutting it, strand by strand with scissors, instead of using a clipper in cheap places. This makes me feel special and cherished as a customer, even though I do not have much hair.
I asked the stylist once why it takes so long for cutting such short hair, and they told me that shorter hairs require greater time to cut than longer hairs as it is important to cut in adjustment to the shape of the head (while the head of people with longer hairs are covered by the hairs). Last time, my hair cut took longer than a female friend's haircut (who had long hair).
Well at this point in time, I still have hair growing around the side of my head, and they grow long, so I need to keep it short.
I used to get cheap haircuts, and at one stage even contemplated asking my friend to cut for me, as I know I don't have that much hair. But recently I have been going to exclusive salons to get my hair cut.
My thinking is that I may not have that much hair left in the future to go to a salon, so while I still can, I should enjoy myself.
An exclusive salon brings me relaxation with the music and the environment. The head massage given during the hair wash is fantastic. The friendliness and the service all contributes to a worthwhile experience.
And best of all, even though my hair cut is short, they spend over an hour cutting it, strand by strand with scissors, instead of using a clipper in cheap places. This makes me feel special and cherished as a customer, even though I do not have much hair.
I asked the stylist once why it takes so long for cutting such short hair, and they told me that shorter hairs require greater time to cut than longer hairs as it is important to cut in adjustment to the shape of the head (while the head of people with longer hairs are covered by the hairs). Last time, my hair cut took longer than a female friend's haircut (who had long hair).
Costume party
A tip for people who are going to a costume party - dress as something that people know and can associate with, and then you will be the most popular person in the party.
I went to a cosplay party last weekend. People were dressing up as fancy game characters - Cloud from Final Fantasy, Chun Li from Street Fighter and all weird and wonderful anime characters. They purchased their costumes online, bought their swords and stuff and spent a fortune dressing up.
I went as Mario from Super Mario Bros. I bought the pants, but the rest of the items, I either had them or easily made them.
And the result? All the girls knew who I was, and wanted to take pictures with me. The other guys who dressed as fancy characters were often met with puzzled look from the girls as they do not know who they are. Most girls are not really into computer games.
It was a great night.
I went to a cosplay party last weekend. People were dressing up as fancy game characters - Cloud from Final Fantasy, Chun Li from Street Fighter and all weird and wonderful anime characters. They purchased their costumes online, bought their swords and stuff and spent a fortune dressing up.
I went as Mario from Super Mario Bros. I bought the pants, but the rest of the items, I either had them or easily made them.
And the result? All the girls knew who I was, and wanted to take pictures with me. The other guys who dressed as fancy characters were often met with puzzled look from the girls as they do not know who they are. Most girls are not really into computer games.
It was a great night.
Pay rise
It is that time of the year again, when we all await for the big envelope, with the amount of remuneration that we will be getting in the new year.
The amount to me is inconsequential, but it is a gesture of how the firm views you. They can tell you that they treasure you, but if the increase is little, then you know what they think of you.
This year, the increase was not as great as previous years. To some extent, I am disappointed. The fact that they did not round up the figure impacted me as I felt I was not appreciated. What made me more upset was the fact that the evil boss told me how much the team needed me and how much I have contributed and that I got what I asked for. This figure was not what I asked for at all.
I know the economy has been bad, and that have impacted on the work in our group, and maybe that is why our increases are not as great. But tell me straight and do not make lies to me about how great the increase was, because it was not.
As I said before, the amount is not important to me, but the level of increase is symbolic of how much I am being appreciated. If I am not appreciated, why am I still here? I would rather be at a job I enjoy and feel appreciated and earn half of my pay than staying here. The only reason I am still here is that I feel everywhere is the same, and since I am accustomed to this place and have a kind of say in what I do, I am staying put. Maybe I won't anymore and will go and try something different.
The amount to me is inconsequential, but it is a gesture of how the firm views you. They can tell you that they treasure you, but if the increase is little, then you know what they think of you.
This year, the increase was not as great as previous years. To some extent, I am disappointed. The fact that they did not round up the figure impacted me as I felt I was not appreciated. What made me more upset was the fact that the evil boss told me how much the team needed me and how much I have contributed and that I got what I asked for. This figure was not what I asked for at all.
I know the economy has been bad, and that have impacted on the work in our group, and maybe that is why our increases are not as great. But tell me straight and do not make lies to me about how great the increase was, because it was not.
As I said before, the amount is not important to me, but the level of increase is symbolic of how much I am being appreciated. If I am not appreciated, why am I still here? I would rather be at a job I enjoy and feel appreciated and earn half of my pay than staying here. The only reason I am still here is that I feel everywhere is the same, and since I am accustomed to this place and have a kind of say in what I do, I am staying put. Maybe I won't anymore and will go and try something different.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Say it to me?
If people have an issue with me, then talk to me and say it to my face. Why do they like talking to others about me? If they don't see any good in me, then stop hanging around me. Why do they pass judgment on me without confronting me? Do they think that I will not find out?
So I do one thing, and they spread false rumours. So I try to do the right thing to stop the rumours, and they say something else about my personality and integrity. It is none of their business as it never concerned them in the first place.
If they are just people who are into gossips, then I am fine with it. But when they are the people around you, I get frustrated. Why don't they just come and talk to me instead of passing their judgement on me to others? If they think I am such a bad person, then don't talk to me or pretend to be my friend. Be true to themselves. Either say it to me or don't talk to me.
So I do one thing, and they spread false rumours. So I try to do the right thing to stop the rumours, and they say something else about my personality and integrity. It is none of their business as it never concerned them in the first place.
If they are just people who are into gossips, then I am fine with it. But when they are the people around you, I get frustrated. Why don't they just come and talk to me instead of passing their judgement on me to others? If they think I am such a bad person, then don't talk to me or pretend to be my friend. Be true to themselves. Either say it to me or don't talk to me.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
True Emo
I met up with a friend tonight I have not seen for years.
To my surprise, she told me that she has a form of mental illness (which I will not disclose here).
She then explained to me how the illness has affected her, especially to the point that she is no longer able to control emotions, and she has attempted to commit suicide a few times already. Hearing her talk about her struggles, I felt really helpless and didn't know what I could do to help her. But the only thing I could do was to sit there and listen to her.
She then told me how this illness is affecting her everyday life and her relationship with others. But she is not able to disclose this to others, and she regretted telling some people already as they were not able to understand her situation, and made fun of her.
Listening to her made me realise that we really need be understanding to our friends. Who knows how many of my friends are in such situation, and I may be upset with them when their behaviour is strange without realising that they may have a valid reason behind their actions.
I have met such people before, especially with my probono work with the homeless, but when it is your friend who has the illness, its a whole different situation.
At least she is relying on God to help her through this. I pray for her recovery and ability to cope and live with this illness.
To my surprise, she told me that she has a form of mental illness (which I will not disclose here).
She then explained to me how the illness has affected her, especially to the point that she is no longer able to control emotions, and she has attempted to commit suicide a few times already. Hearing her talk about her struggles, I felt really helpless and didn't know what I could do to help her. But the only thing I could do was to sit there and listen to her.
She then told me how this illness is affecting her everyday life and her relationship with others. But she is not able to disclose this to others, and she regretted telling some people already as they were not able to understand her situation, and made fun of her.
Listening to her made me realise that we really need be understanding to our friends. Who knows how many of my friends are in such situation, and I may be upset with them when their behaviour is strange without realising that they may have a valid reason behind their actions.
I have met such people before, especially with my probono work with the homeless, but when it is your friend who has the illness, its a whole different situation.
At least she is relying on God to help her through this. I pray for her recovery and ability to cope and live with this illness.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Resolution?
Maybe finally there is some sort of resolution.
After a few weeks of not talking, we finally had a chat about ministry issues. It was kept at a very high level. And then we discussed about certain rumours about us, and it was implied that this needs to be sorted as there is no way they will eventuate. In effect, she said that to me, to which I agreed. And we agreed that we will no longer be able to share personal views and thoughts, so as to keep a clear division in our relationship and not cross the boundaries between friends and lovers.
This, in a way, is good but it feels like losing a friend and someone that I can share things with.
In relation to the other person, she has decided to try another place and her reasons are solid. Even though she said this has got nothing to do with me, I am sure I may be the catalyst or one of the reasons why she is doing so. To this, I am guilty.
It feels like I am losing two people from my life at the same time.
However, I am really grateful for the care and concern shown by certain people, and it was the right timing for me to receive a pack of cards today titled "52 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart". Thanks, guys.
After a few weeks of not talking, we finally had a chat about ministry issues. It was kept at a very high level. And then we discussed about certain rumours about us, and it was implied that this needs to be sorted as there is no way they will eventuate. In effect, she said that to me, to which I agreed. And we agreed that we will no longer be able to share personal views and thoughts, so as to keep a clear division in our relationship and not cross the boundaries between friends and lovers.
This, in a way, is good but it feels like losing a friend and someone that I can share things with.
In relation to the other person, she has decided to try another place and her reasons are solid. Even though she said this has got nothing to do with me, I am sure I may be the catalyst or one of the reasons why she is doing so. To this, I am guilty.
It feels like I am losing two people from my life at the same time.
However, I am really grateful for the care and concern shown by certain people, and it was the right timing for me to receive a pack of cards today titled "52 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart". Thanks, guys.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Mother's Day
This Mother's Day my mother and father went to a church, after a request from a family friend. I accompanied them. I was happy that they were able to go, at least it was a start for them to approach this religion.
However, I did not like the church that much. The sermon was not aimed for new comers and the preacher took things out of context. There was no gospel content even though it was supposed to be evangelistic. The pastor did not make any attempt to welcome us (although he may have to go to another service to preach). One thing which that church has is the people - friendly people who talked to us.
I was embarrassed that day as well by my family friend, who tried too hard to introduce girls to me. She asked me to give them my business card, but when I said I don't have any on me, my mom gave them my card from her purse. I was forced to sit next to one of them at the event afterwards. This was so embarrassing.
However, I did not like the church that much. The sermon was not aimed for new comers and the preacher took things out of context. There was no gospel content even though it was supposed to be evangelistic. The pastor did not make any attempt to welcome us (although he may have to go to another service to preach). One thing which that church has is the people - friendly people who talked to us.
I was embarrassed that day as well by my family friend, who tried too hard to introduce girls to me. She asked me to give them my business card, but when I said I don't have any on me, my mom gave them my card from her purse. I was forced to sit next to one of them at the event afterwards. This was so embarrassing.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Joy in light of darkness
In light of these issues, my parents have accepted an invitation from a family friend to attend her church on Mothers Day for a special event. They accepted on the proviso that I am going with them, and they thought I would not be able to go. So guess what? I told them I am able to go. Now they have to go. I really hope they will form a good impression and maybe will attend other church functions in the future so they are able to know God and accept Him.
Need to pray, pray, pray.
Need to pray, pray, pray.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Office analogy
Its been a week and nothing has progressed. It is hard not to speak to a person for a week. I missed talking to her. But I don't know if I miss her as a person or not.
I need to talk to her, but in my mind, I am still not clear what I want to do. That is why I have not confronted the issue sooner.
I know if I do not choose to be with her, the friendship will disappear.
This time I feel alone in facing this issue. It seems like noone is able to help me or they are disinterested. Maybe some people think I read too much into things, or they are annoyed and upset at me for being like this, time after time. Others may think its goof gossip material and continue to spread this to other people. I recognise that this is an area of my life which I am weak.
I was talking about this to a brother tonight who I have not seen for a while and he made some good observations about me. Here is an office analogy he used.
I am a person who likes to take several files but never open them. I give the impression that I will open them, but they always remain closed. Maybe I am too afraid of committing to one file if I open one file, so am content in the thought of owning a closed file.
I used a similar analogy about him.
He is a person who has opened a file and committed to it. But unfortunately, the file was from a prohibited area, which should not have been opened until it has been transferred to the normal area. However, at least he is trying to transfer the open file now.
We then thought of an analogy about our mutual friend.
He is a person who opens a file, then opens another one, then another one. After a few is opened, he will shut the others. But before long, new files will be opened.
He analysed other things as well and I really appreciate the conversation. Either way, I have to make a decision and resolve the issue. He is keeping me accountable and we set a date of 6 June, by which I need to have resolved all issues.
I need to pray. Really pray.
I need to talk to her, but in my mind, I am still not clear what I want to do. That is why I have not confronted the issue sooner.
I know if I do not choose to be with her, the friendship will disappear.
This time I feel alone in facing this issue. It seems like noone is able to help me or they are disinterested. Maybe some people think I read too much into things, or they are annoyed and upset at me for being like this, time after time. Others may think its goof gossip material and continue to spread this to other people. I recognise that this is an area of my life which I am weak.
I was talking about this to a brother tonight who I have not seen for a while and he made some good observations about me. Here is an office analogy he used.
I am a person who likes to take several files but never open them. I give the impression that I will open them, but they always remain closed. Maybe I am too afraid of committing to one file if I open one file, so am content in the thought of owning a closed file.
I used a similar analogy about him.
He is a person who has opened a file and committed to it. But unfortunately, the file was from a prohibited area, which should not have been opened until it has been transferred to the normal area. However, at least he is trying to transfer the open file now.
We then thought of an analogy about our mutual friend.
He is a person who opens a file, then opens another one, then another one. After a few is opened, he will shut the others. But before long, new files will be opened.
He analysed other things as well and I really appreciate the conversation. Either way, I have to make a decision and resolve the issue. He is keeping me accountable and we set a date of 6 June, by which I need to have resolved all issues.
I need to pray. Really pray.
Light relief
This is a imaginary conversation using recent song titles that me and another colleague typed up using work messenger to secretly describe a secret affair we think is happening at work.
Note: Lyrics or Song titles are marked by " "
A: "I feel so untouched right now..."
A: "Touch my body"
B: "You want a piece of me?"
A: Yea
B: OK. "4 Minutes"
[After 4 minutes]
A: "Don't stop the music"
A: "Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more"
B: No. I'm "Lovestoned".
B: "I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love".
A: Can I have a "picture of you"?
B: Here. "Don't hold back".
B: "Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it....".
Interpret this any way you wish. =)
Can anyone recognise all the songs there? List them all out with the song title and artist if you can.
Note: Lyrics or Song titles are marked by " "
A: "I feel so untouched right now..."
A: "Touch my body"
B: "You want a piece of me?"
A: Yea
B: OK. "4 Minutes"
[After 4 minutes]
A: "Don't stop the music"
A: "Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more"
B: No. I'm "Lovestoned".
B: "I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love".
A: Can I have a "picture of you"?
B: Here. "Don't hold back".
B: "Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it....".
Interpret this any way you wish. =)
Can anyone recognise all the songs there? List them all out with the song title and artist if you can.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Lost...
I have just realised I don't know what love is. What does it mean to love someone? How come people draw conclusions and force me to make decisions all the time. Can't a guy and a girl be close and yet not be in a relationship? What is wrong for me to drive her car, or talking to her on the phone each day? I care for her, but I have not thought of her in that way. Am I selfish? Am I enjoying the fruits of being in a relationship without the commitment of giving a status to the other person? Am I too afraid to take risks, and therefore not being to enjoy the full benefits? Am I being unfair to her? Why are things so hard and complicated? So am I going to lose a friend or a lover?
Noone can help me. Maybe I am not ready to be in a relationship. But I am not getting any younger. I may end up alone, rejected, despised and unwanted. Maybe I should just get lost and disappear off the face of this earth.....................................
Noone can help me. Maybe I am not ready to be in a relationship. But I am not getting any younger. I may end up alone, rejected, despised and unwanted. Maybe I should just get lost and disappear off the face of this earth.....................................
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Bond. JC Bond
It was so great to once again be involved in camp this year.
I remembered that at the very beginning, no deacon was willing to take up the camp. After much deliberation, I took it up (even though I was extremely busy), and then we had trouble finding a chairperson for the camp. It was so great to see God's provision at work, with the formation of the committee, and through the organisational process. Even though we seem disorganised at times, it was a great opportunity for alot of the younger brothers and sisters to be involved and to understand how much work goes in to organising such a camp.
I really treasured the time I have at camp this year. After a recent issue at church, our church seems to be divided again, and it was timely that our camp theme this year centred around the concept of bonding and unity. I had a time of prayer with a fellow deacon in which we prayed for the unity of the church. I had a talk with a fellow brother and it was one of the deepest conversations we had in years. Sitting around a campfire singing songs of praise to the Lord was also very encouraging.
Staying with the younger people, and getting to know them, made me realise how "old" I am. One incident I recalled was putting out the camp fire, as some of the junior high people were playing with the fire in a way which may cause danger to themselves or others (by swinging a lighted branch in the air, there may be a chance of amber falling unto them and hurting them in the process). Afterwards, a university guy told me that I should not have put out the campfire as it would have given some of the guys somewhere to go later in the night to chat. I told him my concerns about the young kids to which he responded that the risk is low. I then explained that I had to do it for caution and I have a responsibility that he was too young to understand. His response was "You are too old to have fun". It was interesting to see the different perspective at play. I guess that as we get older, we cannot be as "carefree" as we were when we were young, and young people may not be as sensitive to dangers and risks as we are.
My personal relationship issues were bothering me as well during the camp. Comments from people actually made me think about alot of things. Am I becoming a person I loathe, whose actions mislead others? Do I have too high expectations? This is the weakest area of my life and I have always not been able to handle this area as well as other areas.
As I shared at the sharing in the camp, I really hope that the camp can be a beginning for our church to experience unity and bonding, and that we will be able to apply this in our church to overcome any issues we may have.
I remembered that at the very beginning, no deacon was willing to take up the camp. After much deliberation, I took it up (even though I was extremely busy), and then we had trouble finding a chairperson for the camp. It was so great to see God's provision at work, with the formation of the committee, and through the organisational process. Even though we seem disorganised at times, it was a great opportunity for alot of the younger brothers and sisters to be involved and to understand how much work goes in to organising such a camp.
I really treasured the time I have at camp this year. After a recent issue at church, our church seems to be divided again, and it was timely that our camp theme this year centred around the concept of bonding and unity. I had a time of prayer with a fellow deacon in which we prayed for the unity of the church. I had a talk with a fellow brother and it was one of the deepest conversations we had in years. Sitting around a campfire singing songs of praise to the Lord was also very encouraging.
Staying with the younger people, and getting to know them, made me realise how "old" I am. One incident I recalled was putting out the camp fire, as some of the junior high people were playing with the fire in a way which may cause danger to themselves or others (by swinging a lighted branch in the air, there may be a chance of amber falling unto them and hurting them in the process). Afterwards, a university guy told me that I should not have put out the campfire as it would have given some of the guys somewhere to go later in the night to chat. I told him my concerns about the young kids to which he responded that the risk is low. I then explained that I had to do it for caution and I have a responsibility that he was too young to understand. His response was "You are too old to have fun". It was interesting to see the different perspective at play. I guess that as we get older, we cannot be as "carefree" as we were when we were young, and young people may not be as sensitive to dangers and risks as we are.
My personal relationship issues were bothering me as well during the camp. Comments from people actually made me think about alot of things. Am I becoming a person I loathe, whose actions mislead others? Do I have too high expectations? This is the weakest area of my life and I have always not been able to handle this area as well as other areas.
As I shared at the sharing in the camp, I really hope that the camp can be a beginning for our church to experience unity and bonding, and that we will be able to apply this in our church to overcome any issues we may have.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Trip 2008 (11)
Finally back in Australia.
The final night in Hong Kong was a challenging night in terms of thoughts of my life. Through dinner and drinks with some old friends, I was confronted with the issue of moving back to Hong Kong.
I know I would earn much more money, and I would have lots of friends there. The major reason why my friends want me to move back is the greater availability of single girls in Hong Kong. They are of the view that I may remain single in Australia, while the rest of them in Hong Kong will be married and having kids.
But one thing which I find lacking in Hong Kong is the lack of opportunities for me to serve God. I will so busy with my work that I will not have time to do this. I would not be able to serve God, let alone further my knowledge in him. The lack of pro bono work in Hong Kong would also be a major factor.
It is true that there are alot more girls in Hong Kong, but I find most Hong Kong girls too materialistic for my liking. The girls I have met in Hong Kong which were introduced to me by my friends were all materialistic, and the only ones which do not display such traits are the ones who have just gone back to Hong Kong to work. It seems like the whole environment of Hong Kong changes the character of people.
So here, i end my thoughts on the trip. Overall it has been a great experience, and I get to learn more about myself. I realise that I may not be as patient as I think and I can be quite independent. I enjoy the freedom and the feeling of being carefree so maybe this kind of attitude is affecting my relationship status. Until next time....
The final night in Hong Kong was a challenging night in terms of thoughts of my life. Through dinner and drinks with some old friends, I was confronted with the issue of moving back to Hong Kong.
I know I would earn much more money, and I would have lots of friends there. The major reason why my friends want me to move back is the greater availability of single girls in Hong Kong. They are of the view that I may remain single in Australia, while the rest of them in Hong Kong will be married and having kids.
But one thing which I find lacking in Hong Kong is the lack of opportunities for me to serve God. I will so busy with my work that I will not have time to do this. I would not be able to serve God, let alone further my knowledge in him. The lack of pro bono work in Hong Kong would also be a major factor.
It is true that there are alot more girls in Hong Kong, but I find most Hong Kong girls too materialistic for my liking. The girls I have met in Hong Kong which were introduced to me by my friends were all materialistic, and the only ones which do not display such traits are the ones who have just gone back to Hong Kong to work. It seems like the whole environment of Hong Kong changes the character of people.
So here, i end my thoughts on the trip. Overall it has been a great experience, and I get to learn more about myself. I realise that I may not be as patient as I think and I can be quite independent. I enjoy the freedom and the feeling of being carefree so maybe this kind of attitude is affecting my relationship status. Until next time....
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Trip 2008 (10)
Tonight is the second last night I am in Hong Kong. This is the second time this week I came home at 3am in the morning, after visiting a bar opened by a friend named Backstage. Tonight, the new group, Vega, was performing there. They specialise in Classical Pop, but their combination of classical sounds and pop music was not really effective in my opinion. However, their own renditions of other songs were quite good. I guess I would not be rushing to HMV to get their CD tomorrow.
Had dinner with some old church friends tonight prior to going to Backstage. I am so happy for two couples who will be expecting babies soon. This is again a reminder to me that everyone else has moved on in life, and it seems like that I am still in the same life stageg as I was ten years ago.
I also had another trim of my hair today, to make it short, so that I can be all refreshed when I am back in Australia. So great for the hairdresser to give me a discount again.
So tired now... so I will post some more deeper thoughts tomorrow or when I return to Australia.
Had dinner with some old church friends tonight prior to going to Backstage. I am so happy for two couples who will be expecting babies soon. This is again a reminder to me that everyone else has moved on in life, and it seems like that I am still in the same life stageg as I was ten years ago.
I also had another trim of my hair today, to make it short, so that I can be all refreshed when I am back in Australia. So great for the hairdresser to give me a discount again.
So tired now... so I will post some more deeper thoughts tomorrow or when I return to Australia.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Trip 2008 (9)
I spent the past few days meeting up with friends and going to Macau.
I am continually amazed at the development of Macau. We stayed at MGM, one of the new casino hotel. The room was magnificent and the venue was very classy and nice. We also visited the Venetian, which looked great from the distance, with its imitation Venice canals, but on closer inspection, everything looked so "plastic".
I actually planned to play blackjack just for fun when I was there, but as soon as I got there, and watching other people play, I had no urge to play anymore. Maybe I think there is no real entertainment value from gambling, and that the return from such activities is not great enough for me to risk my money.
Last night, I went to drinks with three of my old law school friends. We talked about how the four of us were drinking at the place of one of them 8 years ago, and that one of my friend and me locked ourselves in separate rooms, as we couldn't drink anymore. That was also the year I came back to Hong Kong for a holiday. Time passes so quickly. But here we were again, drinking again, and chatting about old times.
Today, I visited my friend and her baby. It seems like only yesterday that we were at university today, and I could still recall driving her to university as if it happened yesterday. And now she is married and is a mother already, taking care of her own child.
So these few days is like a visit down memory lane.
I am continually amazed at the development of Macau. We stayed at MGM, one of the new casino hotel. The room was magnificent and the venue was very classy and nice. We also visited the Venetian, which looked great from the distance, with its imitation Venice canals, but on closer inspection, everything looked so "plastic".
I actually planned to play blackjack just for fun when I was there, but as soon as I got there, and watching other people play, I had no urge to play anymore. Maybe I think there is no real entertainment value from gambling, and that the return from such activities is not great enough for me to risk my money.
Last night, I went to drinks with three of my old law school friends. We talked about how the four of us were drinking at the place of one of them 8 years ago, and that one of my friend and me locked ourselves in separate rooms, as we couldn't drink anymore. That was also the year I came back to Hong Kong for a holiday. Time passes so quickly. But here we were again, drinking again, and chatting about old times.
Today, I visited my friend and her baby. It seems like only yesterday that we were at university today, and I could still recall driving her to university as if it happened yesterday. And now she is married and is a mother already, taking care of her own child.
So these few days is like a visit down memory lane.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Trip 2008 (8)
My last day in Tokyo was spent at the John Lennon Musuem. Looking through his life and the way he advocated for peace brings tears to my eyes as I walked into the "Imagine" room where they were showing footages of him making that song. It was one of the most moving museum I have seen. If only our world is a better place now, but the message of peace and love is still a foreign concept to the lives of many.
At night, I went to Ginza and walked around. Our final meal in Tokyo was at the Kirin Cafe in Ginza, where we drank different types of Kirin beer and had a filling Western meal.
It seems that I have been in Japan for longer than these 10-12 days as I felt that I have mastered their complicated transport system. It has been a ritual for me to go to the convenient store in the morning and at night to buy my breakfast and get bottled water for the night. Maybe I have also acquired their style of dress - the last night, I was asked by a Japanese person off the street in Japanese how to get to a specific place. When I talked to them in English, they looked shocked. So the fact that I have been able to submerge with the locals is an achievement in itself.
I have also learnt about my personality which I may write in my next blog.
Now back to Hong Kong for a few more days....
At night, I went to Ginza and walked around. Our final meal in Tokyo was at the Kirin Cafe in Ginza, where we drank different types of Kirin beer and had a filling Western meal.
It seems that I have been in Japan for longer than these 10-12 days as I felt that I have mastered their complicated transport system. It has been a ritual for me to go to the convenient store in the morning and at night to buy my breakfast and get bottled water for the night. Maybe I have also acquired their style of dress - the last night, I was asked by a Japanese person off the street in Japanese how to get to a specific place. When I talked to them in English, they looked shocked. So the fact that I have been able to submerge with the locals is an achievement in itself.
I have also learnt about my personality which I may write in my next blog.
Now back to Hong Kong for a few more days....
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Trip 2008 (7)
Today is Good Friday. There seems to be no hint of any celebration today in Tokyo. Life goes on as normal, with shops still open and just as much people on the streets.
Maybe in a way, there is a great need for the gospel here. I am constantly being reminded of this in my travels to Asia. Who is willing to be the messager in these parts of the world? I was thinking how ironic things are - we are more willing to learn a foreign language for travel than to learn one for the purpose of gospel.
The last two days were basically spent shopping in Shinjuku, Shinbuya and Harajuku. It is so funny that every time I walk into a shop, people think I am Japanese. Maybe it is because of the way I dress now - beannie and scarf - just like the other Jap guys. Also went to Rappoggi Hills today, and marvelled at the design of the LV building. While we were there, we went up to the observatory deck of the Mori Tower, and had a marvellous view of the whole of Tokyo.
My second travel buddy has been missing in action for two days. He probably went out himself with some of his friends. Well, given that he is not interested in shopping and stuff, maybe this is a good thing.
My travel buddy and I have been doing alot of 'chick spotting' during our time in Japan. We even tried to take photos, but at times was found out by others, resulting in the target turning away. This is something I would not do in Sydney. I wonder why I am doing it here.
Last day in Tokyo tomorrow - so much to do, so little time left.
Maybe in a way, there is a great need for the gospel here. I am constantly being reminded of this in my travels to Asia. Who is willing to be the messager in these parts of the world? I was thinking how ironic things are - we are more willing to learn a foreign language for travel than to learn one for the purpose of gospel.
The last two days were basically spent shopping in Shinjuku, Shinbuya and Harajuku. It is so funny that every time I walk into a shop, people think I am Japanese. Maybe it is because of the way I dress now - beannie and scarf - just like the other Jap guys. Also went to Rappoggi Hills today, and marvelled at the design of the LV building. While we were there, we went up to the observatory deck of the Mori Tower, and had a marvellous view of the whole of Tokyo.
My second travel buddy has been missing in action for two days. He probably went out himself with some of his friends. Well, given that he is not interested in shopping and stuff, maybe this is a good thing.
My travel buddy and I have been doing alot of 'chick spotting' during our time in Japan. We even tried to take photos, but at times was found out by others, resulting in the target turning away. This is something I would not do in Sydney. I wonder why I am doing it here.
Last day in Tokyo tomorrow - so much to do, so little time left.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Trip 2008 (6)
Today, we visited the Ghibli Museum, where the whole museum was devoted to the works of Ghibli, the creator of anime movies such as Laputa and Spirited Away. It was a very interesting exhibition, and we were able to see images from his works in the display. I only wished I was there with a friend who is also a Studio Ghibili fan. I am sure I could shared more with him than with my travel buddy who is not so familiar with the works of Ghibili.
I spent a fortune at the gift shop, getting mostly gifts for my sister and my nephew. How I wish I could bring the whole shop back.
The afternoon and night was spent in Odabah, and visiting the Fuji TV studios as well as the Venus Fort where it was decorated like an ancient Eurpoe architecture.
We are just so tired now, from walking around so much.
I spent a fortune at the gift shop, getting mostly gifts for my sister and my nephew. How I wish I could bring the whole shop back.
The afternoon and night was spent in Odabah, and visiting the Fuji TV studios as well as the Venus Fort where it was decorated like an ancient Eurpoe architecture.
We are just so tired now, from walking around so much.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Trip 2008 (5)
Having been in Japan for about a week now, I have made the following observations about the Japanese:
1. Japan is all about convenience. Toilets are fitted with heatable seats, and water can be used to flush your ass after you finish. You can get anything at convenient stores and vending machines, and the food they sell there is actually quite nice. For example, sushi rolls sold in convenient stores are wrapped in a way that separates the rice from the seaweed which is aimed to retain the crunchiness of the seaweed. It is so much better than the sushi roll being sold in Australia, where the seaweed is already soggy from the rice. I have been having this for breakfast for a few days now, and they are always nice and fresh.
2. Japanese people are polite and friendly. They will bow to you and say sorry when they bump into you. However, beyond this, they are like other Asians, who are only concerned about themselves. I have seen many young Japanese people on trains and buses not giving seats to eldery people even though they are seating in priority seats.
3. Japanese people seem to be more cultured than we expect. I went to the National Museum of Western Art in Tokyo today and they had a special exihibition of works deplicting Venus, the goddess of love, which have been sourced from all over the world, including Florence and Naples. Even though its a week day, there were many Japanese people there, and it was quite packed inside. The normal exhibitions in the museum was quite small in comparison with the Art Gallery in Sydney, but their section of works from Impressionist artists were very impression, with a few works from Monet (including a painting of the famed Water Lillies) and other artists such as Manet and Renoir. There is even a painting by Vincent van Gogh there.
So far, I do not really like Tokyo. Such a big busy city and people do not seem as warm as those in smaller cities like Kyoto. We went to a tour of the Imperial Palace grounds today which we had to pre-book. In the afternoon, I split up with my travel buddy and I went to the National Museum fo Western Art (as described above). Last night was spent in Shinjuku, where we went to a restaurant and you had to fish your own fish and lobsters and they cook it for you on the spot. It was really fun and we are planning to go there again tonight. My other travel buddy is arriving today (he was sick so did not arrive earlier) so hopefully we will have more fun in the next few days.
1. Japan is all about convenience. Toilets are fitted with heatable seats, and water can be used to flush your ass after you finish. You can get anything at convenient stores and vending machines, and the food they sell there is actually quite nice. For example, sushi rolls sold in convenient stores are wrapped in a way that separates the rice from the seaweed which is aimed to retain the crunchiness of the seaweed. It is so much better than the sushi roll being sold in Australia, where the seaweed is already soggy from the rice. I have been having this for breakfast for a few days now, and they are always nice and fresh.
2. Japanese people are polite and friendly. They will bow to you and say sorry when they bump into you. However, beyond this, they are like other Asians, who are only concerned about themselves. I have seen many young Japanese people on trains and buses not giving seats to eldery people even though they are seating in priority seats.
3. Japanese people seem to be more cultured than we expect. I went to the National Museum of Western Art in Tokyo today and they had a special exihibition of works deplicting Venus, the goddess of love, which have been sourced from all over the world, including Florence and Naples. Even though its a week day, there were many Japanese people there, and it was quite packed inside. The normal exhibitions in the museum was quite small in comparison with the Art Gallery in Sydney, but their section of works from Impressionist artists were very impression, with a few works from Monet (including a painting of the famed Water Lillies) and other artists such as Manet and Renoir. There is even a painting by Vincent van Gogh there.
So far, I do not really like Tokyo. Such a big busy city and people do not seem as warm as those in smaller cities like Kyoto. We went to a tour of the Imperial Palace grounds today which we had to pre-book. In the afternoon, I split up with my travel buddy and I went to the National Museum fo Western Art (as described above). Last night was spent in Shinjuku, where we went to a restaurant and you had to fish your own fish and lobsters and they cook it for you on the spot. It was really fun and we are planning to go there again tonight. My other travel buddy is arriving today (he was sick so did not arrive earlier) so hopefully we will have more fun in the next few days.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Trip 2008 (4)
Have been in Kyoto for the past three days. Most of these days were filled with temple visits during the day and at night. We went to around seven temples in these couple of days.
It was good that we got a volunteer tour guide on the first day, who showed us around several temples and explained the meaning of the differnet symbolisms used in the temples. These themes carry across to all other temples. It was interesting to learn about their fear of fire, and the significance of water in its effect on creating zen gardens and the like. The influence of China also plays a role in these temples, especially in some of the paintings on the walls inside the temple.
Seeing so many people visit these temples, buying charms and praying to the statute again makes me realise how spiritually hungry we all are. We all strive for something greater than ourselves to help us, and sometimes when we are at crossroads, we don't know who to turn to. Spening a few hundred yen on a charm gives them a sense of hope and asssurance that they may be blessed by higher beings. We, as Christians, should tell them the real hope we have found so that they too can experience the real joy and peace from this real hope.
The day trip to Hiroshima today was a major highlight of the trip so far. Walking through the memorial park and visiting the museum and looking at the effect of bombs and the things left behind made me so sad and brought a few tears to my eyes. How can human beings treat each other like this? After understanding the political factors in play for US to drop the bomb on Japan, I really feel sorry for the innocent civilians affected by this. While we can all advocate for world peace, we also realise that true peace will never come in this life, as long as selfish humans are in power. All we can long for and hope for is the true peace from the kingdom of God.
We tried some interesting foods in these few days (after my encounter with raw crab on the first night), including raw horse (which tasted quite nice, but the thought of eating horses made the experience more painful than necessary), tofu kaiseki (what a way to eat tofu but only eating the skin off a pot of boiling liquidify tofu), Hiroshima oysters (large, succulent and delicious, made using a variety of ways), Hiroshima yaki speciality (it was yummy, but I can't describe what it is) and onokomiyaki (so much better than the ones in Sydney). The food in Japan is so good that I am afraid that I will be a fat boy when I return.
Our night times were spent wandering around. We spend some time in the clubs and cafes areas, as well as the red light district. We also went to the small street and saw a few geishas walking around. Unfortuately we couldn't take any photos with them.
The weather in Japan has been so weird. In these three days, we experienced rain, sun, cold and heat. It is like four seasons in one day. I would be able to wear t-shirts during the day, but had to wear a large jacket at night. Global warming is getting out of control. Hopefully we can all play a part to reduce its effects.
Looking forward to going to Tokyo tomorrow, and hopefully will have internet access then.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Trip 2008 （３）
Finally arrived in Japan.
I had a haircut on my last day in ＨＫ. One of the most expensive haircuts I ever had. This stylist do the hairs for a lot of HK celebrity, and my friend introduced his services to me. He cut my hair really short and gave me a discount as well. Even with the discount, it is still excessive, but at least the atmosphere of the place (at IFC) makes it worthwhile. I also met up with my the mother of my friend, and had lunch at the famous Tai Ping Koon. The souflee was so massive that we did not even finish half of it. At night, met up with a friend and his partner at Soho, and we had a quick drink. It was interesting to see so many new bars and clubs opened in that area.
I was also confronted with some personal temptation this day. It shows how weak we are and that I really needed God to really help me.
The next morning, I had to catch the plane to Japan. I woke up later than expected, and instead of catching the bus to the airport, I caught the taxi to Tsing Yee and then the train to the airport. The food on the plane was really bad, again. I must lodge a complaint to Cathay for the quality of food they serve. The satay beef tasted like leftovers from three days ago. The plane food on Cathay used to be better than this. I wonder what happened.
Arrived in Osaka in the afternoon, and after taking a bus to the city, checked in at the hotel. My travel buddy and I went up to the Floating Observasation Garden and took in the splendid view of Osaka. Later that night, we headed down to Namba, and the famous Dotombouri, where we tasted the famous giant crab. The crab set dinner was very filling and was terrific. We also tried taking pictures of some of the nice girls, and I even got my picture taken with one. We walked around for quite a while, and we passed some strip clubs and brothel places, and it was so funny that they thought we were Japanese and invited us in, and once they found out we weren't, they were no longer interested in asking us.
The second day, we went to the Osaka Castle, and experienced the majestic nature of the castle, with the high moats and fortifications surrounding it. Saw some cherry blossom too, which was great. Then we headed off to lunch at Kobe and had the famous Kobe beef. The chef did so many variety with it, and cooked it in so many different ways. From the simple steak, to the use of fats in dishes and the use of other vegetables. Then off to Himeji we went. The bad thing about this day was that we had to carry our bags around, but it wasn't too bad. At Himeji station, there were lockers to put our bags in, and we thought at first they only had small lockers (and we tried to stuff our big bags into those at first) , only to find out that there were larger ones elsewhere in the station. It was disappointing that we couldn't go into the castle, since we were a bit too late. Hopefully, we can work around our plans and try to go to Himeji again, as the area is really one of the nicest areas I've been to in Japan.
At Himeji, we caught the bullet train to Kyoto. These trains were so fast that I couldn't believe it. Stand at a platform when they travel past, and I can assure you that you wouldn't never stand close to the edge of the platform ever again. We arrived in Kyoto early evening, and we wanted to see the temples being lit up at night (since they were going to do this). We had a hard time working out which bus to catch, and when we were on board, we did not know how to pay for the bus ride. Worse of all, the driver and the passengers did not speak English, and we missed our stop on the first night! What made it worse was that when we got off at the next stop, and tried to find those temples being lit up at night, we were told that we were one day too early. And so we got a bus back to Kyoto station, hoping to find something to eat. But alas, all the restaurants and cafes closed at 10pm. We ended up finding a bar, and we had bar food, which consisted of skewers and fried stuff. I did not know they had an English menu and was ordering from the Japanese menu, trying to guess the food with the Chinese characters used in the menu.
The trip so far has been good, but my impression of Japanese people so far was that they tended to mind their own business and do not really look after other people. However, we did meet some nice people along the way too, and when asking people for directions, most of them were too happy to assist. However, our experience with the bus was really bad, as none of the passengers attempted to help us.
I had a haircut on my last day in ＨＫ. One of the most expensive haircuts I ever had. This stylist do the hairs for a lot of HK celebrity, and my friend introduced his services to me. He cut my hair really short and gave me a discount as well. Even with the discount, it is still excessive, but at least the atmosphere of the place (at IFC) makes it worthwhile. I also met up with my the mother of my friend, and had lunch at the famous Tai Ping Koon. The souflee was so massive that we did not even finish half of it. At night, met up with a friend and his partner at Soho, and we had a quick drink. It was interesting to see so many new bars and clubs opened in that area.
I was also confronted with some personal temptation this day. It shows how weak we are and that I really needed God to really help me.
The next morning, I had to catch the plane to Japan. I woke up later than expected, and instead of catching the bus to the airport, I caught the taxi to Tsing Yee and then the train to the airport. The food on the plane was really bad, again. I must lodge a complaint to Cathay for the quality of food they serve. The satay beef tasted like leftovers from three days ago. The plane food on Cathay used to be better than this. I wonder what happened.
Arrived in Osaka in the afternoon, and after taking a bus to the city, checked in at the hotel. My travel buddy and I went up to the Floating Observasation Garden and took in the splendid view of Osaka. Later that night, we headed down to Namba, and the famous Dotombouri, where we tasted the famous giant crab. The crab set dinner was very filling and was terrific. We also tried taking pictures of some of the nice girls, and I even got my picture taken with one. We walked around for quite a while, and we passed some strip clubs and brothel places, and it was so funny that they thought we were Japanese and invited us in, and once they found out we weren't, they were no longer interested in asking us.
The second day, we went to the Osaka Castle, and experienced the majestic nature of the castle, with the high moats and fortifications surrounding it. Saw some cherry blossom too, which was great. Then we headed off to lunch at Kobe and had the famous Kobe beef. The chef did so many variety with it, and cooked it in so many different ways. From the simple steak, to the use of fats in dishes and the use of other vegetables. Then off to Himeji we went. The bad thing about this day was that we had to carry our bags around, but it wasn't too bad. At Himeji station, there were lockers to put our bags in, and we thought at first they only had small lockers (and we tried to stuff our big bags into those at first) , only to find out that there were larger ones elsewhere in the station. It was disappointing that we couldn't go into the castle, since we were a bit too late. Hopefully, we can work around our plans and try to go to Himeji again, as the area is really one of the nicest areas I've been to in Japan.
At Himeji, we caught the bullet train to Kyoto. These trains were so fast that I couldn't believe it. Stand at a platform when they travel past, and I can assure you that you wouldn't never stand close to the edge of the platform ever again. We arrived in Kyoto early evening, and we wanted to see the temples being lit up at night (since they were going to do this). We had a hard time working out which bus to catch, and when we were on board, we did not know how to pay for the bus ride. Worse of all, the driver and the passengers did not speak English, and we missed our stop on the first night! What made it worse was that when we got off at the next stop, and tried to find those temples being lit up at night, we were told that we were one day too early. And so we got a bus back to Kyoto station, hoping to find something to eat. But alas, all the restaurants and cafes closed at 10pm. We ended up finding a bar, and we had bar food, which consisted of skewers and fried stuff. I did not know they had an English menu and was ordering from the Japanese menu, trying to guess the food with the Chinese characters used in the menu.
The trip so far has been good, but my impression of Japanese people so far was that they tended to mind their own business and do not really look after other people. However, we did meet some nice people along the way too, and when asking people for directions, most of them were too happy to assist. However, our experience with the bus was really bad, as none of the passengers attempted to help us.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Trip 2008(2)
I have only been in Hong Kong for three days, but it seems like I have been here for much longer than this. Maybe it is because I go from place to place every day.
Went to morning yum cha again today and then to the island of Cheung Chau (by ferry) to see cherry blossoms with my relatives. It was disappointing, as there was only one large tree. Hopefully I will be able to see the real thing when I am in Japan in a few days time.
Later in the day, when I came back to Hong Kong, I met some friends for coffee. As I am chatting with them, I wonder what I would have been like if I actually came to Hong Kong to work. Maybe I would be so caught up by the culture of Hong Kong that I would be a different person to who I am now. Thinking back, I have gained so much perspective from staying in Australia. My faith in God has grown deeper these few years, and God has given me so much opportunity to experience him in different facets of my life.
At night, I met with an old friend for dinner. We talked about our relationship issues. We used to chat frequently when he was in Australia, and it has been a while since we last chatted. Talking about my own experience made me realise that I seem to have lost the passion or desire for relationship. I know I expect too much, but I can't help myself. Maybe I concentrate too much on the flaws of my potential partners and not on their good points. Maybe I am just a selfish guy, who is continuing to live in a fantasy land. The irony behind all this is a lack of urgency in this matter in my mind at the moment.
Went to morning yum cha again today and then to the island of Cheung Chau (by ferry) to see cherry blossoms with my relatives. It was disappointing, as there was only one large tree. Hopefully I will be able to see the real thing when I am in Japan in a few days time.
Later in the day, when I came back to Hong Kong, I met some friends for coffee. As I am chatting with them, I wonder what I would have been like if I actually came to Hong Kong to work. Maybe I would be so caught up by the culture of Hong Kong that I would be a different person to who I am now. Thinking back, I have gained so much perspective from staying in Australia. My faith in God has grown deeper these few years, and God has given me so much opportunity to experience him in different facets of my life.
At night, I met with an old friend for dinner. We talked about our relationship issues. We used to chat frequently when he was in Australia, and it has been a while since we last chatted. Talking about my own experience made me realise that I seem to have lost the passion or desire for relationship. I know I expect too much, but I can't help myself. Maybe I concentrate too much on the flaws of my potential partners and not on their good points. Maybe I am just a selfish guy, who is continuing to live in a fantasy land. The irony behind all this is a lack of urgency in this matter in my mind at the moment.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Trip 2008 (1)
My trip to HK and Japan came so quickly.
It seem only yesterday that my friend mention in passing of trip in March, and I told him I was interested as well, and here we are, several months later, blogging from Hong Kong.
It still doesn't feel so real yet, as I was still working until the last day, and getting on the flight at night doesn't give me time to settle and think.
The flight was pleasant, apart from the new Cathay seats, where you are not able to recline the back part of the seats. The food was the worse I've had. Its the first time in any trip that I did not eat breakfast. How can one swallow the watery scrabbled eggs?
The first day I was back, I spent half the day trying to renew my China travel documentation. The rest of the day I did alot of things - karaoke (Neway - songs were old, but they did have internet access in the room), buying a camera (considered Casio and Olympus, but eventually reverted back to the old favourite, Canon), eating street food (stinky tofu) and eating great food (baby lobster that have not grown yet - it looks cruel at first but the flesh is so tender, also had duck stuffed with scallops and other treasures). Apart from spending time with my relatives on the first day, it was also great spending a few hours with my friend from church, who was flying back to Sydney that night. It was great to be with a familiar face on the first day, and we chatted in English like we do in Australia, to the dismay of some people in the busy streets of Mong Kok.
Today is the second day, and being a Sunday, I went to a local church with my auntie. Similar to my experience in previous years, the sermon in local churches in Hong Kong is very shallow and did not contain any exegesis. The point about obeying God's law (based on a passage in Leviticus) was hammered for about an hour, but what the speaker did not mention is that most of us are not able to do so. The speaker did not explain the impact of Jesus and the NT on the law. The role of the law is to show us that we are sinners, and that we need Jesus, but this was not emphasised in the sermon. The face that I picked this up may yet be God talking to me again and trying to show me something in my life that I may not want to face at this point in time.
Went to yum cha with my relatives after church. My cousin asked me whether I have any plans of getting married or owning a property. This is so embarrassing. What can I say? That at this age, I am still so troubled in my relationships with others and that even if I have plans, they may not eventuate anyway? So sad.... =(
The afternoon was spent walking around the new shopping complex Elements with one of my travel buddies, and going into all those designer label stores. The service was extremely good (with special mention going to the IWC stores who spent a long time showing us the watches and allowing us to try them on, but no matter how nice they were, I think it is too excessive to spend $7,000 to $15,000 AUD on a watch). I also had a great time looking at the H&M store. It is the first time I've seen this brand (which is associated with Madonna) in Hong Kong. Had Japanese dinner with an old friend from church who has came back to Hong Kong with her husband a year ago, and it was great catching up. She is also working at the Hong Kong office of the firm I am working for in Sydney, and we were also talking about the various people that we know and the gossips that are associated with them.
It seem only yesterday that my friend mention in passing of trip in March, and I told him I was interested as well, and here we are, several months later, blogging from Hong Kong.
It still doesn't feel so real yet, as I was still working until the last day, and getting on the flight at night doesn't give me time to settle and think.
The flight was pleasant, apart from the new Cathay seats, where you are not able to recline the back part of the seats. The food was the worse I've had. Its the first time in any trip that I did not eat breakfast. How can one swallow the watery scrabbled eggs?
The first day I was back, I spent half the day trying to renew my China travel documentation. The rest of the day I did alot of things - karaoke (Neway - songs were old, but they did have internet access in the room), buying a camera (considered Casio and Olympus, but eventually reverted back to the old favourite, Canon), eating street food (stinky tofu) and eating great food (baby lobster that have not grown yet - it looks cruel at first but the flesh is so tender, also had duck stuffed with scallops and other treasures). Apart from spending time with my relatives on the first day, it was also great spending a few hours with my friend from church, who was flying back to Sydney that night. It was great to be with a familiar face on the first day, and we chatted in English like we do in Australia, to the dismay of some people in the busy streets of Mong Kok.
Today is the second day, and being a Sunday, I went to a local church with my auntie. Similar to my experience in previous years, the sermon in local churches in Hong Kong is very shallow and did not contain any exegesis. The point about obeying God's law (based on a passage in Leviticus) was hammered for about an hour, but what the speaker did not mention is that most of us are not able to do so. The speaker did not explain the impact of Jesus and the NT on the law. The role of the law is to show us that we are sinners, and that we need Jesus, but this was not emphasised in the sermon. The face that I picked this up may yet be God talking to me again and trying to show me something in my life that I may not want to face at this point in time.
Went to yum cha with my relatives after church. My cousin asked me whether I have any plans of getting married or owning a property. This is so embarrassing. What can I say? That at this age, I am still so troubled in my relationships with others and that even if I have plans, they may not eventuate anyway? So sad.... =(
The afternoon was spent walking around the new shopping complex Elements with one of my travel buddies, and going into all those designer label stores. The service was extremely good (with special mention going to the IWC stores who spent a long time showing us the watches and allowing us to try them on, but no matter how nice they were, I think it is too excessive to spend $7,000 to $15,000 AUD on a watch). I also had a great time looking at the H&M store. It is the first time I've seen this brand (which is associated with Madonna) in Hong Kong. Had Japanese dinner with an old friend from church who has came back to Hong Kong with her husband a year ago, and it was great catching up. She is also working at the Hong Kong office of the firm I am working for in Sydney, and we were also talking about the various people that we know and the gossips that are associated with them.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Baby
As I walked into the hospital in the rain, I realised how fast time flies. My little sister has given birth to a baby boy, and I felt the significance of the moment, as I was walking in to visit them. I just can't fathom that she is now a mother of someone else and the days of our childhood still seem not so long ago.
It was a joy to see the tiny baby and to feel its soft skin. And I can't believe that I am an uncle now.
Time never stops for anyone. The new replaces the old and the new will become the old.
It was a joy to see the tiny baby and to feel its soft skin. And I can't believe that I am an uncle now.
Time never stops for anyone. The new replaces the old and the new will become the old.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Hows your family?
I'm getting to an age where it is embarrassing to answer this question.
I used to answer this question in relation to my family as in my father and mother.
But as you get older, when people ask you about your family, they mean your wife and kids.
And when you are still single, it is hard to answer such questions and provide explanations.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Senior Associate Conference
It was a much better conference than I expected, and the ability for all senior associates across all Australian offices to meet together face to face is a great opportunity indeed.
The activities involved us walking on tight ropes, 10 metres above ground level. The process of climbing up the telegraph pole was scary enough and then walking on the ropes is even more of a challenge. I did the leap of faith, where I had to climb up the pole and then up out to grab a bar. It was horrifying leaving the platform and jumping out, and it was more of a shock when I missed the bar. Luckily, there was a harness to protect me.
For free time, I chose to do a tour of the artists' studios. Seeing them work, and hearing them explain their art and passion, makes me want to become one of them. I was able to drown myself and lose myself in their paintings. I was touched by the explanation given by Ruth le Cheminant behind her paintings. I was impressed by the use of light in the landscape paintings of Warwick Fuller and the impressionist illusions in the paintings of Herman Pekel. I laughed at the humour in the paintings of David Beschi.
As for the rest of the conference, the seminars and workshops seem like brain washing sessions. They assumed everyone wanted to be a partner of the firm, without addressing the true needs of the participants as to how the firm may assist those who do not want to be partners. The truth is that in this age and time, people come and go so quickly and they have done nothing to address that. These kinds of issues were touched upon in the last seminar on the last day, but by then, most people have left or are too tired to care.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Anti-Valentines Day
For many years now, this day is a day of dread, as every year I would see couples on the streets with flowers and chocolates and I would be all alone, feeling sad and wondering when this loneliness would end.
This year, I spent the day with a bunch of other single people at an anti-valentines day party at a bar. It was cool, meeting with a lot of different people, and not feeling alone on such a date.
But this may just be a way of escaping from reality, a glim and cold reality. If you asked me in November 2007 what I expected would happen on 14 February 2008, I would not have imagined I would be at this state again. Maybe it is my choice again, but it is hard not to think about "what if".
The fear is that I will continue to experience this state for the rest of my life.
This year, I spent the day with a bunch of other single people at an anti-valentines day party at a bar. It was cool, meeting with a lot of different people, and not feeling alone on such a date.
But this may just be a way of escaping from reality, a glim and cold reality. If you asked me in November 2007 what I expected would happen on 14 February 2008, I would not have imagined I would be at this state again. Maybe it is my choice again, but it is hard not to think about "what if".
The fear is that I will continue to experience this state for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Edison Chen
The great controversy surrounding the leaking of photos depicting Edison Chen having sex with various Hong Kong female stars is hitting the front pages of tabloids all over Hong Kong, day after day. Most people blamed Edison for the leakage of the photos and others are disgusted by the immorality shown in the photos. Most people felt that Edison should be responsible and should say something about the incident, but at the same time, they felt sorry for the female stars being caught up in the controversy.
I am not going to comment on the morality of the images depicted in the photos. This should not be the issue we should be concentrating on. The issue is the leakage of the photos on the internet and whether it is justified that Edison takes the blame.
Edison's contribution to the leakage is taking his computer for repairs. I do not think he is aware of such images in his computer and he would certainly not expect repairers to access his personal files in the computer.
And the reason why it is such a big issue at this point in time is the public reaction, and it is the public who demand those photos. We are feeding into this whole issue. We want to see more photos. We buy the newspapers and magazines selling this story. We search the net for the photos to satisfy our curiosity. We are fueling this whole controversy by our actions. We are as much to blame as anyone else.
One thing most people doesn't realise is the fact that Edison is also a victim in this. He did not want this to happen, just like the female stars. Sure, he was the one who took these photos, but these were meant for his private pleasure and was not meant for the world to see. Whether you think he is perverted or not based on the photos is not relevant, as these photos were only meant for himself. Noone realises that Edison is hurting as much as the female stars. He would be feeling that he betrayed the trust of the other people in the photos. His career is also affected by this whole incident. His life may also be in jeopardy, due to the connection of some of the female stars involved. So the fact he stayed silent and staying put in the US is a wise choice at this point in time. What did the media expected him to say? If he apologised, he would be regarded as being insincere and fake (see reaction after his video). If he kept silent, he would be regarded as not being a man and taking up the blame. He is in a lose-lose situation.
I really hope that he and the female stars involved will hang on and be strong, and hopefully with the support of their family and friends they will overcome this.
I am not going to comment on the morality of the images depicted in the photos. This should not be the issue we should be concentrating on. The issue is the leakage of the photos on the internet and whether it is justified that Edison takes the blame.
Edison's contribution to the leakage is taking his computer for repairs. I do not think he is aware of such images in his computer and he would certainly not expect repairers to access his personal files in the computer.
And the reason why it is such a big issue at this point in time is the public reaction, and it is the public who demand those photos. We are feeding into this whole issue. We want to see more photos. We buy the newspapers and magazines selling this story. We search the net for the photos to satisfy our curiosity. We are fueling this whole controversy by our actions. We are as much to blame as anyone else.
One thing most people doesn't realise is the fact that Edison is also a victim in this. He did not want this to happen, just like the female stars. Sure, he was the one who took these photos, but these were meant for his private pleasure and was not meant for the world to see. Whether you think he is perverted or not based on the photos is not relevant, as these photos were only meant for himself. Noone realises that Edison is hurting as much as the female stars. He would be feeling that he betrayed the trust of the other people in the photos. His career is also affected by this whole incident. His life may also be in jeopardy, due to the connection of some of the female stars involved. So the fact he stayed silent and staying put in the US is a wise choice at this point in time. What did the media expected him to say? If he apologised, he would be regarded as being insincere and fake (see reaction after his video). If he kept silent, he would be regarded as not being a man and taking up the blame. He is in a lose-lose situation.
I really hope that he and the female stars involved will hang on and be strong, and hopefully with the support of their family and friends they will overcome this.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Double standards
I really dislike people who have double standards.
They can use cruel and mean words towards others (even though deep inside they do not mean it) but when others do it back to them, they get upset.
And when others try to reason with them in relation to the cruel and mean words they used in the first place, they will defend themselves by saying that they did not mean it. But how something means to a person is up to the person listening. One needs to convey the right meaning using the right tone and choice of words. They need to be responsible for what they say, and not try to find ways around it.
And what they don't understand is that they can be manipulative with things they do. They can be a stirrer and they do not know it. Then after they stir up things, they accuse people of being fake, but it is themselves who cause this to happen.
Try talking to them, and getting them back, and it wont work, as you will upset them either way. And the only thing they will do is just to hit you back physically. So sad.
They can use cruel and mean words towards others (even though deep inside they do not mean it) but when others do it back to them, they get upset.
And when others try to reason with them in relation to the cruel and mean words they used in the first place, they will defend themselves by saying that they did not mean it. But how something means to a person is up to the person listening. One needs to convey the right meaning using the right tone and choice of words. They need to be responsible for what they say, and not try to find ways around it.
And what they don't understand is that they can be manipulative with things they do. They can be a stirrer and they do not know it. Then after they stir up things, they accuse people of being fake, but it is themselves who cause this to happen.
Try talking to them, and getting them back, and it wont work, as you will upset them either way. And the only thing they will do is just to hit you back physically. So sad.
Write offs
It's hard to avoid trouble when trouble comes to find you.
I have tried to keep a low profile at work, doing my work, not engaging in any mind games with the evil boss. There is not much work flow from him in the past few months, and I have been doing work for other people, which has been good.
However, trouble seems to come and find me even when I try to avoid it. There has been an issue with the disconnect between the fees I earn for my firm and the number of billable hours I work. And that comes down to one issue - write offs! Upon further investigation, I realised that the evil boss has been "writing off" my time on files. He usually quotes low to get the work in, and keeps to the quote during billing at the expense of people working for him. I am sure it is not an issue with me in spending too much time, as none of the other people I work for write off my time to the extent he does.
Anyway, this may turn out to be an issue which needs to be addressed to management, and when the time comes, I will need to defend myself. I have gathered all the evidence of writeoffs already, but I do not want to result in a war of words between me and him. It is so hard to be a witness at work.
I have tried to keep a low profile at work, doing my work, not engaging in any mind games with the evil boss. There is not much work flow from him in the past few months, and I have been doing work for other people, which has been good.
However, trouble seems to come and find me even when I try to avoid it. There has been an issue with the disconnect between the fees I earn for my firm and the number of billable hours I work. And that comes down to one issue - write offs! Upon further investigation, I realised that the evil boss has been "writing off" my time on files. He usually quotes low to get the work in, and keeps to the quote during billing at the expense of people working for him. I am sure it is not an issue with me in spending too much time, as none of the other people I work for write off my time to the extent he does.
Anyway, this may turn out to be an issue which needs to be addressed to management, and when the time comes, I will need to defend myself. I have gathered all the evidence of writeoffs already, but I do not want to result in a war of words between me and him. It is so hard to be a witness at work.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
What do we want?
Sometimes we think we know what we want. We may dream about wanting a certain thing, and convince ourselves that the thing we want is the best thing for us. We may try to achieve this, and our past efforts and hard work further convinces us that we should get this thing.
And once we achieve it, how do we feel? We may be happy at first, but this joy quickly disappears, when we discover that what we have obtained may not be suitable for us. Of course, from a distance, such things are nice and perfect, but when they are up close and personal, they are not that much different from other things. Then we start to question whether we actually know what we want, and we begin to wonder maybe the best thing is something that we have all along, something that we are comfortable with, something that we loathe but yet have accepted.
And we continue to live, to dream new dreams, to make modifications and adjustments to our dreams, until one day our true dream is realised or until we depart without the chance to realise our dreams.
And once we achieve it, how do we feel? We may be happy at first, but this joy quickly disappears, when we discover that what we have obtained may not be suitable for us. Of course, from a distance, such things are nice and perfect, but when they are up close and personal, they are not that much different from other things. Then we start to question whether we actually know what we want, and we begin to wonder maybe the best thing is something that we have all along, something that we are comfortable with, something that we loathe but yet have accepted.
And we continue to live, to dream new dreams, to make modifications and adjustments to our dreams, until one day our true dream is realised or until we depart without the chance to realise our dreams.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
New and Old
Its the new year.
What is new?
1. Work offices have moved to a new building, but ironically, its the same building that I was working in when I first started work in another company as a graduate. Office fitouts are modern and slick, but rooms are divided by glass panels, which make us look like we are all in fishbowls.
2. Met a new group of people on NYE, formed from friends inviting friends inviting friends to see fireworks. Been hanging out with them a few times this year. Nothing special, just something different.
What is old?
1. Work. When to stop? Where to go?
2. Relationship. Unresolved issues, still trying to escape.
What is new?
1. Work offices have moved to a new building, but ironically, its the same building that I was working in when I first started work in another company as a graduate. Office fitouts are modern and slick, but rooms are divided by glass panels, which make us look like we are all in fishbowls.
2. Met a new group of people on NYE, formed from friends inviting friends inviting friends to see fireworks. Been hanging out with them a few times this year. Nothing special, just something different.
What is old?
1. Work. When to stop? Where to go?
2. Relationship. Unresolved issues, still trying to escape.
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