Office analogy

Its been a week and nothing has progressed. It is hard not to speak to a person for a week. I missed talking to her. But I don't know if I miss her as a person or not.

I need to talk to her, but in my mind, I am still not clear what I want to do. That is why I have not confronted the issue sooner.

I know if I do not choose to be with her, the friendship will disappear.

This time I feel alone in facing this issue. It seems like noone is able to help me or they are disinterested. Maybe some people think I read too much into things, or they are annoyed and upset at me for being like this, time after time. Others may think its goof gossip material and continue to spread this to other people. I recognise that this is an area of my life which I am weak.

I was talking about this to a brother tonight who I have not seen for a while and he made some good observations about me. Here is an office analogy he used.

I am a person who likes to take several files but never open them. I give the impression that I will open them, but they always remain closed. Maybe I am too afraid of committing to one file if I open one file, so am content in the thought of owning a closed file.

I used a similar analogy about him.

He is a person who has opened a file and committed to it. But unfortunately, the file was from a prohibited area, which should not have been opened until it has been transferred to the normal area. However, at least he is trying to transfer the open file now.

We then thought of an analogy about our mutual friend.

He is a person who opens a file, then opens another one, then another one. After a few is opened, he will shut the others. But before long, new files will be opened.

He analysed other things as well and I really appreciate the conversation. Either way, I have to make a decision and resolve the issue. He is keeping me accountable and we set a date of 6 June, by which I need to have resolved all issues.

I need to pray. Really pray.