Annoyed

She continues to amaze me... and I continue to be more annoyed and annoyed at her... and to think that the thought of considering her have crossed my mind previously....

She can use people as jokes which to me is a form of personal attack but when people retaliate and make a joke about her, she becomes defensive and upset. So in her world, it is fine for her to do things to others, but not the other way around.

She takes everything for granted. She takes people for granted. She appreciates random people doing small things for her, and she thinks they are treating her well, but she neglects what her close friends have done for her and expects these friends to do so much more, and then she complains that her close friends are not treating her well.

Who wants to have partner like this, let alone a friend like this?

But on another level, she can be caring and loving, and in critical times, she would be there for me. If I am to consider her again, I want her to be like this all the time, not just during a few moments of my life. But who am I to demand this?

At the moment, I have tried to see how we would react with each other with less communication and contact. I have not told her anything, but at this stage, given my emotional state and my annoyance I think it may be best. I have been doing this for a week now, and so far, I am feeling fine about my decision. Maybe this is a confirmation that I should redirect my focus and energy on other things or other people, as I have no urges to contact or communicate with her during the past week. Or maybe at this stage, I am just too annoyed at her. Only time will tell.