Its over... too

How can you end up a friendship just like that?

If this was going to happen, it should happen at the beginning of the year, after the chat we had with our mediator. After that, I did not contact you for two weeks, as I did not want you to continue to be misled. But you continue to contact me, and confide in me as a friend, and you knew that our relationship was only friends. I tried so hard to treat you in a way that ensured you understood that we were just friends for the past year, and I think I have achieved this.

A few months ago, you organised a dinner with me before Christmas. You said this was important and that we should have that dinner before Christmas.

And at the dinner you told me that we should just end our friendship as emotionally you are not able to cope. Then if that's the case, then why did you continue to act in the same way for the past few months, calling me at 3am in the morning to talk to me when you were upset, and asking me for advice in relation to your life decisions?

Isn't it a bit selfish of you to dictate the terms of our friendship?

And you asked me to tell you what I think you need to improve in terms of your personality. I mentioned things which I and others can see, such as your need to be willing to "walk" with your partner on a path together (and not let him do all the work while you sit back and complain that it is all too hard). I told you that you need to be more appreciative of others (and not just superficially, or talk about your discontentment of them behind their back). You seem to not be able to take these things, and justified that you would be doing these things. I did not say anything further as you were not able to cope.

I think these are your blind spots, and that you will continue to struggle in relationships if you do not deal with these issues.

Maybe it is better this way... I don't know... I respect you as a friend so that was why I allowed you to do whatever you want in this situation. But your actions in this confirmed my comments relating to how you deal with things, and that not everyone can cope with you.

It's over

Due to the economic downturn, I was asked to leave my place of employment on the same day. When this happens, it puts so much things into perspective. All those hours at work, not eating on time, working late and mentoring others do not really amount to anything in the end if the times are bad. The identity that I have associated with my work was over in an instant.

To the firm, I was just another number, maybe a very expensive number, and when profits decline, I would need to go, so as to maintain their existing level of profit.

But what they do not realise is that all of us being made to leave have to deal with so much emotions, including our sense of loss of value or shame from their actions.

There is a sense of relief from all this - my growing frustrations with my boss and the management of the firm has now come to an end. I have so much free time for myself, that I can refocus on my physical and mental health and well being.

If I have made an impact on the lives of others at my workplace, through my work ethics and personality towards others, treating all staff with respect and acting in humility, then all is not lost. The compliments I have received from my colleagues have been positive and supportive.

The other thing which surprised me about this incident is the number of friends who came to me afterwards, telling me about their past experiences in being in the same situation (which they never told others about).

The real issue now is what I should be doing from now on. This is a question I have been avoiding which I will need to address in the new year.