Friendships

How do we define friendships? How do we establish friendships?

Do you establish friends through networking? I went to a speed networking function organised by my firm recently. We had an "one-on-one" session with each person in the room for 3 minutes in which we discussed a pre-determined topic and exchange our personal information. By the end of the night, I had a number of business cards in my hands, none of which I would be contacting again. Although I went out with some of my new-found networks afterwards to more drinks and dinner, and I actually had a good time talking about the insignificant details of life, they were still just an acquaintance to me and a potential network for the future. I am sure they think the same. These kind of people may be described "one-night friends". "One-night friends" may also include those long lost friends who contacts you once every couple of years and updates you on things in their lives.

Do you establish friends through open invitation? Even if you open yourself to someone new, that person may not open themselves to you in the same way. Maybe to you that person is your friend, but to them, you may not be a friend. These kind of people may be described as "one-way friends".

How do you respect your friends? It is hard when you have an expectation of them, and they do not meet that expectation. We expect our good friends to inform us of their big events in life, and when they do not do that, do we respect their privacy? When we find out that they have informed others of their big events, and we are kept in the dark, do we have the understanding to accept that each person may have their reasons for doing what they do (and maybe we are too busy for them in the first place)?

How do you respect your friends? It is hard when they do not appreciate what you've done for them, and to them, their "one-night friends" are closer than you are, even though they can expect your friendship regularity, and their "one-night friends" will only give them unexpected friendship once in a blue moon.

How do you help and support your friends? Do you need to give them an answer every time? How do you tell a friend that they need professional help? How can you tell them that you feel their pain but you don't know how to help them.

And how do you cope and handle a dying friendship, a lost friendship, or a friend who you no longer connect or click with?