Is blood thicker than water?
It is argued that family relations last forever, but friendships come and go.
But the opposite may also be true. Family relations may just be an imaginary concept. The concept by itself will not be able to bind a relationship together. You may feel a sense of belonging to a relative because you belong to the same family, but you may not have any relationship with that person. A friend who you have experienced ups and downs with may have a stronger relationship with you than a relative who you have no relationship with.
If we are binded to each other by our encounters and experiences, shouldn't friendship be seen as important as family relations? Isn't it ironic that a person who died without a will may result in a distant relative, who barely knew the person, being entitled to their estate, while that person's friends, who stood by the person during that person's last days, get nothing, not even a memento to remember that person by. A close friend's death would have so much more impact on me than the death of a distant relative in another part of the world, or an evil relative who has harmed me financially and emotionally.
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5 comments:
It depends on whether you are referring to your 'direct nuclear family' or your whole 'family tree' when you use the term 'family'.
Direct families experience your presence since birth and they literally see you grow up into what you have become. They are the ones who go through decades of ups and downs with you - supporting you and nurturing you all along.
In fact I think it's really insulting to your direct family to call your friends a family members because their contribution towards your life is so minute compared to them.
Friendships on the other hand are relatively fragile. What you call a friend one day may become 'another person on your msn list' the next day.This does not mean i do not beleive in friendships/loyalty, it means that families should never be compared to your direct family.
In reference to your 'ironic' part about the inheritence of wills; I think it's up to the dying person to divide his own accumulated wealth and fortune, after all- the most important things in friendships are the memories, not the material goods that they leave behind for you when they die.
argh but what is your definition of family
in the more western cultures, family ties are more fragile, as seen from the amount of ppl in the old ppls homes. ironically, there is more bonding between western cultures between father and son, whereas this is lacking in the chinese culture
but the chinese culture strongly emphasises piety and family ties. this leads to more chinese people taking initiative taking care of their parents as they grow old.
now take this...you were brought up by chiense parents in a western country and taught western values. Dont forget, you are also a christian with christian values. So every christian should be part of your family.
therefore its easy to get confused about the blood thicker than water issue. Western value clash with Chinese.
Also, despite what sima yi said, looking at human psychology, a person would be more effect by a direct change (eg close friend dying or employee leaving) than by an indirect change ( distant relative u see every 10 years dieing, or a person who have harmed u dying) as the bonds you have with those are very weak, if at all.
there are many factors to think about before giving judgement whether friend should have the same importance as family.
after all, your future wife started of as a friend right? (i hope you dont marry a stranger)
I'm feeling really easy breezy now so I'm going to stir up some havok.
In responde to zhuge liang, I did a short definition search on the word family, and most of the definitions were relating to
- people living together
- long term commitments
- lineage.
There weren't that many alternative meanings for family unless you add biological and mathematical terms into it. I think perhaps it is safe to assume that the author used the main definition of the word 'family' here.
It is hard to divide and compare the cultural differences of western and eastern cultures at this age and time.
Globalisation has converged many of the behavioural and cultural aspects of life. What you listed there was valid perhaps a few decades ago but is now a bunch of stereotypical examples - invalid comparisons between the 2 different sides of the world.
We are experiencing more eastern people chucking their parents into old care centres and there has been increasing family awareness in western societies too.
Also,the question here is whether family relations are more important compared to non blood relations.(hence the title)This means that the 'christian family' is technically not a family.(unless you get all biblical on me and say god created us as equals and sons of god blablabla).
I don't really understand the point where you pointed out my nickname, but notice i made a distinction between the direct family and the outer family branches. My previous comment was based on the direct family only.
I don't think the wife part is relevant to the topic.You cannot assume that he is a straight male without any proof.:)
P.S Why is it that you and greg abuse the word 'ironic' so much?
true globalisation has blurred the line between cultures but no offence to gecki.... he was in the generation where it was an issue, therefore he considers it, whereas we may not. I was merely looking in his perspective(excuse my typing)
kong ming said...
"he was in the generation where it was an issue, therefore he considers it, whereas we may not I was merely looking in his perspective"
yeah but greg is typing in PRESENT tense at this PRESENT time, why do you presume his perspective is in the past?
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