People are expected to have deep personal sharings with others, especially at church camps and sharing gatherings. These are great opportunities for us to share with one another about our inner most feelings in order for us to understand one another.
However, there are reasons why some people don't want to share. A list of possible reasons appear below:
1. People are not close at all to one another anyway. If they don't have any close communication normally, they would not share deeply at an event that happens once a year.
2. Sharing in a large group may not be effective. There is very little time for a response, especially if the group is big. It is this lack of personal response from sharing something that is deep that discourages a person from sharing in such an environment.
3. There is usually no follow up after a group sharing with people. A person may share some inner most thoughts or problems. It is very rare for the people in the group to see how that person is going with their problems after the event. Everyone is busy in their own worlds.
4. Some people just want to know what is happening to the people around them, with no intention of caring or helping. They treat sharing as an information session, and so, the whole experience may be cold and unwelcoming for the people who shared deep things.
5. Not all people in the group have the experience or wisdom to understand the information in the sharing, and accordingly, they are not able to provide any constructive feedback or help to the appropriate people.
If we are to encourage others to open up and share, we should be willing to assist in the aftermath of such a session, by spending time to follow up all the people in the group, not just the few we are close to. How often are we willing to put our time and effort on people outside of these times? What right do we have to want them to share at an annual meeting if we don't even communicate with them through the year.
There are many opportunities in our daily lives for us to know the people around us. Maybe we should make use of these opportunities, instead of just relying on annual events or group sharings, which may not be effective anyway.
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3 comments:
u forgot lack of trust :P
sharing...a word commonly used in a commune(sometimes hippie) or a group of people. Family usually share. Friends ususally share. Hippies that barely know each other can share. The list goes on. Why do they share. Besides from the hippies, family and friends usually have a degree of trust when they share.
the question is, is this trust existant. Or do we all fear if we let others know ourselves too much that will leave us vunerable to manipulation or other attacks.
Some people simply dislikes others and refuse to share with them, or they dont think they will understand.
Others think they are hardcore and can deal with it themselves.
Can you really generalise all the scenarios in 1 blog :P
but , all said and done, the root of the problem is lack of trust
well, even if you trust the people you share with, you may find it hard to continue to share with them if they are not responding to your sharing or they are not caring or genuinely concerned about the stuff that you've shared...
well if u trust them in the beginning then u will trust that they will care and are genuinly concerned
i guess my definition of friend and trust is different to others
o well
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