On the border of rationality and feeling...
The heart feels right, the heart feels happy, the heart wants to go deep into it, to experience the happiness and wonder of love...
The head is rational, the head remembers past hurts, the head wants more time to think and analyse...
How should one resolve these conflicting elements existing inside oneself? Is there anything called "rational feelings"?
Monday, August 29, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Expectations
We all have expectations of each other.
As an employee, you are expected to behave in a certain way. You are expected to have certain skills and knowledge which reflects the level of your seniority in the organisation you work in. As a professional, you are expected to work or bill a minimum number of hours. And in order for you to continue your employment, you strive to meet these expectations.
As a leader or mentor, you are expected to have certain level of knowledge, and be readily available to the people that you care for. As a partner, you are expected to love your other half and be there to care and support him or her. As a friend, you are expected to do the same thing, but maybe on a different level. And because of your love for others, you try to meet these expectations.
We all try to meet the expectations of others. But ironically, we all feel that others are not meeting our expectations of them. Is it too much to expect others to show initiative to care for me and my problems, and not just telling me their own problems and expecting to me care for them? Is it too much to expect others to do to me what I would have done for them? Is it too much to expect a call, an sms or a msn message to inform me of what I need to know, instead of me always trying to contact them to find out what I should have been told and what I should have known in the first place? Is it too much to expect love in return for the love I give out?
Maybe true love for others is a love without expectations, a love that involves giving your all without expecting any return. Any return you get should not an expectation. Maybe we should not have any expectations from others at all?
As an employee, you are expected to behave in a certain way. You are expected to have certain skills and knowledge which reflects the level of your seniority in the organisation you work in. As a professional, you are expected to work or bill a minimum number of hours. And in order for you to continue your employment, you strive to meet these expectations.
As a leader or mentor, you are expected to have certain level of knowledge, and be readily available to the people that you care for. As a partner, you are expected to love your other half and be there to care and support him or her. As a friend, you are expected to do the same thing, but maybe on a different level. And because of your love for others, you try to meet these expectations.
We all try to meet the expectations of others. But ironically, we all feel that others are not meeting our expectations of them. Is it too much to expect others to show initiative to care for me and my problems, and not just telling me their own problems and expecting to me care for them? Is it too much to expect others to do to me what I would have done for them? Is it too much to expect a call, an sms or a msn message to inform me of what I need to know, instead of me always trying to contact them to find out what I should have been told and what I should have known in the first place? Is it too much to expect love in return for the love I give out?
Maybe true love for others is a love without expectations, a love that involves giving your all without expecting any return. Any return you get should not an expectation. Maybe we should not have any expectations from others at all?
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Service vs Servicing
Alot of people focus on providing a good "service" - being friendly, being helpful and being approachable.
But if a good service is not supplemented by "servicing" - being able to respond to the request of clients or customers - then, no amount of good service will bring the client or customer in if servicing is not avaiable.
In our work, we can be friendly to clients, but we also need to be able to provide quality work for our clients by responding to their needs.
In church, we can be friendly to people, but we also need to understand the needs of the people in our church, not just giving them what we think they need.
Ironically, in alot of situations, all we are able to give to people at church is a forced smile. We are not willing to dig deep to understand others since it takes time and the rewards are low and not instanteous. Maybe that is why so many prefer to serve in music ministry (where there is instant gratification) instead of other roles such as discipling people (where the result may not be evident until many years down the track).
But if a good service is not supplemented by "servicing" - being able to respond to the request of clients or customers - then, no amount of good service will bring the client or customer in if servicing is not avaiable.
In our work, we can be friendly to clients, but we also need to be able to provide quality work for our clients by responding to their needs.
In church, we can be friendly to people, but we also need to understand the needs of the people in our church, not just giving them what we think they need.
Ironically, in alot of situations, all we are able to give to people at church is a forced smile. We are not willing to dig deep to understand others since it takes time and the rewards are low and not instanteous. Maybe that is why so many prefer to serve in music ministry (where there is instant gratification) instead of other roles such as discipling people (where the result may not be evident until many years down the track).
Controversy in praying
When a little Christian girl is sick, and is on the borderline of death and life, how should we pray?
Most people will pray for her recovery, for God's healing and for God's comfort for the girl.
However, even if God takes the girl away, is that such a bad thing? The innocent girl will be with Jesus, and will escape from the pain of this world. She will enjoy the eternal relationship with our Lord instead of struggling with sin in this world as she grows up. Wouldn't it be better for her to be taken away from this evil world where we do not belong?
Maybe the reason why we pray for recovery is for our own self interest - we want to see the little girl grow up, or we don't want to lose the girl. But maybe from the point of view of the girl's interest, it would be better for her to be in heaven.
The only prayer we should pray may be for God's will be done.
Most people will pray for her recovery, for God's healing and for God's comfort for the girl.
However, even if God takes the girl away, is that such a bad thing? The innocent girl will be with Jesus, and will escape from the pain of this world. She will enjoy the eternal relationship with our Lord instead of struggling with sin in this world as she grows up. Wouldn't it be better for her to be taken away from this evil world where we do not belong?
Maybe the reason why we pray for recovery is for our own self interest - we want to see the little girl grow up, or we don't want to lose the girl. But maybe from the point of view of the girl's interest, it would be better for her to be in heaven.
The only prayer we should pray may be for God's will be done.
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