Types

When we reach a certain age, we will be used to either being alone, or the fact that we have a partner.

A person who is used to having a partner most of their lives will feel so empty after losing that partner. They will then find themselves with so many free time and they would not know how to use such time. They may try to hang out with their friends, but since they have a partner for most of their lives, they may already have neglected their friends, and such friends may not be able to give time to them. They will be reminded that they will need to find another partner as soon as possible, and as a consequence, they will actively find another partner.

A person who is used to being single will be used to being alone and independent. That person will try to fill up their lives with so many activities and friends so that they won't feel lonely. If a partner comes into that person's life, that person will need time to adjust and may find it difficult to fit the partner into their busy schedules.

These two types of people will not understand each other. The person used to being alone thinks that the person used to having a partner falls too easily in love with others. The person used to having a partner thinks that the person used to being alone takes so long to act which may result in plenty of lost opportunities.

So the singles continue to be singles, and the couples continue to be couples.

Maybe it is a choice between independence and love or a choice between loneliness and business, depending on one's perspective.

If we are in the transitional stage from one to another, maybe all we can do is learn by experience. But its hard. And no-one seems to understand the dilemma until they are the same type of person as you and have experienced the transition stage.

Miss Saigon

Ten years have passed since I watched this musical last time.

This time round, I was able to appreciate more of the more subtle messages from the story.

I remembered when I watched the musical ten years ago, I could not reason why the love existed. I also did not understand the reason why she took her own life in the end.

This time when I watched it, I am able to comprehend. In a war, they were each other's only source of escape and provided a breath of fresh air in each other's life. However, once the soilder returns back to their country, they will be back to their familiar surroundings, and that kind of love would soon be forgotten. Apparently, such stories were common during the Vietnam war, and there may still be women waiting for their soldiers to return today.

Taking her own life in the end was an act of love for her son. Her sacrifice was the only way to guarantee her son's passage to the US.

Watching this musical reminds me how great we are to live in this society, being free from war and having so much opportunities. We should be appreciative of the many soldiers who have risked their lives to ensure that we continue to enjoy this peace and freedom. However, the musical also reminds us that the cost of wars may be greater than the benefit it brings, and wars may be seen as a futile attempt by man to take control of something which he has no control over.

Homeless people

Providing pro bono legal advice for homeless people has been rewarding. The work may be tedious. The clients may have mental issues and stink of urine. But for once, I feel like I am doing something that is actually helping people who are genuinely in need.

We take for granted the liberties we have in our lives. But for a homeless person, they are sometimes being exploited or stripped of their basic rights. It is amazing how discriminatory people are in treating others.

Seeing these people in the state they are in saddens my heart. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could evangelise to them as well?

I felt a bit guilty getting there and leaving there by cab, while seeing people struggle on the streets. However, I am sure they do not see it that way.

Even though it was only half a day, I have gained so much more insight in that time than weeks of working on big transactions. I spent the rest of the day in the office doing some follow up work for these homeless people, ignoring my real work for corporate clients.

I am looking forward to the next time I go there. It has given me a new perspective on life.

Carpe Aeternitatem

Carpe Aeternitatem. Latin phrase. Translated to mean "Seize eternity".

What are we doing with our lives? Everything we do in our lives seems to be centered upon the present. What are we doing for eternity?

Maybe we should be continually reminded that this life is limited. Life passes away in a flash of an eye. Events from ten years ago only seem like last week. How many ten years do we have in our lives?

We spend our time deciding our work. We buy into the concept that our 'career' gives us value and satisfaction. We spend more and more time trying to advance our career, thinking that this would give us value. And in the end, we get more dissatisfied, because our value cannot be defined by this life, but by eternity. The whole concept of a career centers upon this life. Maybe work should be a means for us to support ourselves, so that we can use our time and resources to "seize eternity". What eternal value do we have by earning millions of dollars? But if we spend our time with people, telling them of the great news, we will be affecting their eternal status. Isn't this more worthwhile then doing things for ourselves for this life only?

This leads to the question of being in full time ministry. Should we seize eternity in this way? Not everyone is gifted in teaching. If we are gifted in teaching the Word of God, then why not? Are we still focused on this life? Are we not concerned about the eternity of others.

But can we do both? The longer we work, the more work demands of your time, resources and energy. It would be very hard to do both. And the worldly value of secular work is always in conflict with our values in eternity.

I am continued to be challenged. I am continued to be intrigued. I am continued to be humbled.

Back to Square One

So close and yet so far....

To have a job offer on hand, to have signed the offer and to have made plans to make to move... only to be struck by uncertainty and doubt with events happening at the last minute, resulting in me withdrawing my acceptance...

Maybe this is an indication that I should be pursuing something else... something totally different...

Although I feel mentally tired and strained by the whole process, I feel at peace with the decision I have made. The favourable response from the other side came as a bit of a surprise, so maybe I made the right decision as there were other factors happening on the other side I am not aware of.

It is ironic that the more option one has, the more one feels traps in one's current situation.

Facebook

The Facebook phenomena is reaching record heights. Everyone has an account on Facebook. Some offices have banned access to the website from their workers. People can spend hours on it, going through the friends' lists of their friends to see if there are people they know, and trying to reconnect with old friends. It is a very handy tool for people to keep up to date with everyone.

However, Facebook is also a tool which gives people a superficial sense of care and love towards others, by sending free virtual gifts to people to express their care. It eliminates the need for us to communicate with people face to face, creating a false sense of security in people that they have a whole array of friends on their list, most of which are mere acquaintances. Its convenience is sacrificed by genuine relationship building, where a few virtual gifts are used to define the extent of a person's relationship with others.

Use Facebook by all means, but do not replace physical contact with a website.

Tommy

The musical "Tommy" brings us into a life journey, allowing us to seek through our emotions and physical circumstances, to discover our purpose in life and realising that the purpose may only be subjective. However, the musical also showed the hypocrisies that exist in the world, in terms of people, world events and religions.

Everyone is searching for something to cling onto, to hang on and to build their hope on. Everyone wants to discover things that others have discovered that they themselves have not, but in the end we just realise that all the so-called discoveries are just the same things, repackaged in a different format. Maybe each one of us is like Tommy, living in our own small world, seeing the same things with different visions, thoughts and analysis. All of us face the same choice - to continue to live in our own fantasy world, or to rise above the world and see what this world and our life is really about.

Death

Death... it is closer than it seems. Each day we live, we are one day older, and one step closer to death.

Death can come upon us at anytime. One of my client recently just died in his sleep. No signs beforehand. He was only in his 50s.

Death brings about an emotions in people, as death involves the severance of ties and relationships. Singing at a funeral in front of crying people makes me so emotional, the impact of which lasted for days.

Death... it is closer than it seems. After all, death is only one breath away or one heartbeat away.

Cash Values 2

I've been told that my views in the previous posts are too optimistic. I was told that living a life costs money, and it is wrong for me to assume that all is fine, when we are supposed to have money for our daily needs, as well as putting money aside for emergencies, for our kids, for our family, and so on.

This is all true. But how much can we calculate? How much can we save up for? Sometimes we go too far with our pursuit of money that we end up neglecting other aspects of our lives. Money cannot bring back lost relationships and neglected friendships. Money cannot buy back those special moments in our child's life that we missed simply because we are at work.

If everyone is to be concerned about how much we earn or whether we have enough for the future, there will be a number of jobs which no one will be doing.

I am not saying that we should not be prudent with our money. All I am saying is that we should be satisfied with what we have, and do not use money as a justification for our actions.

Look at it this way - if the average Australian household's annual income is only $50,000 per year, no-one earning more than that should be using the argument that they need to make more money to save for emergencies. If the average Australian can survive on that salary, so can we.

Cash Values

Been thinking about finances and money lately, especially with my pending decision about work and stuff.

How much money does one need? When we think about it, its doesn't amount to much.

But we have been lured into a force sense of security by the need to have everything new and latest. Possessions have become our security in life. We comfort ourselves by the material things we gather. We compare ourselves with others by the wealth we have.

Our occupations have become a status symbol, a role which gives us value in life. We look up to people with certain occupations. We give respect to people who are wealthy.

But even with all that wealth, are we happy? What is more important in life? A mansion in which you live alone, or a small flat where there is a constant gathering of people who care for you in your life?

On our death bed, do we look back and feel proud at the portfolio of assets we have accumulated? Or do we feel regret for the lack of care we have shown to our loved ones as we spent all our time on our job and the lost opportunities in building our relations with people?

I know a person who is dying from a terminal illness at the moment, and she is now in her last days. The only material thing that is giving her comfort in these last days is a self-held fan costing $2.00, which cools her constantly. Her main source of comfort is her faith in God and the people who visits her every day.

And in a sense, we all have more than we need. How much of our wealth do we give away generously? To most of us, none.

Have a look at the Global Rich List as well as Miniature Earth. It will put things into perspective.

Hillsong Conference 2007

The growth of Hillsong over the years have been phenomenal. Unfortunately, due to bad press and non support from some evangelical groups, mainstream conservative Christians still have doubts about them. People expect that sermons at Hillsong are filled with the message of prosperity gospel and that people there frequently speak aloud in tongues. They expect songs from Hillsong to have questionable lyrics.

But can we be so judgmental? Some conservative Chinese churches teach some sort of prosperity gospel. I have heard sermons about how tithing is still relevant in Chinese sermons (even though it is widely accepted that this concept is under the Old Covenant which has been abolished under the New Covenant). I have heard sermons in evangelical churches where passages are taken out of context. Sure, Hillsong may take passages out of context in relation to giving and receiving, but that is a danger we see in all churches, not just Hillsong.

Music is the soul and heart of Hillsong. On the night I was there at this year's conference, Hillsong United sang some of their famous numbers. The highlight was Chris Tomlin, whose voice was mesmerising. Again, How Great is our God brought tears in my eyes. His rendition of The Wonderful Cross and Amazing Grace comforted the souls around the stadium.

Overall the experience to me was positive. It was wonderful to see people committing themselves to God. The greatness of God was highlighted in the sermon, and reminded once again how insignificant we are compared to the great God. If we are willing to cast away our prejudice, maybe we can see that God works through different means and media. This is something conservative evangelical Christians need to understand.

Blast from the past

Last Saturday morning, I was walking along George Street going to a colleagues place for lunch,when I saw her walking towards me. At first I wondered whether it was her. She has not changed over the past 10 years. As we approach each other, I pretended not to see her, and she walked right past me.

Was it her? Was it not her?

I remembered the events from 10 years ago. My first girlfriend. The memories we shared. The hurt we caused. They are still as fresh today as they were 10 years ago.

10 years passed by so quickly. Alot has changed, alot hasn't changed. She may be married by now.

The last time I saw her was about 5 years ago, when I bumped into her and her boyfriend in a restaurant, where I was dining with my (then) girlfriend. We had a brief chat, introduced our partners, and that was that.

Then last night, I dreamt of bumping into her again and talking to her. I woke up with a really weird feeling. Maybe there is still things I have not dealt with from the past? Or maybe I am just too sentimental?

Music Therapy

Music has a therapeutic power. This week I've been a bit more happier at work, all because of the power of music.

Last Saturday night, I spent rehearsing for the Sunday service, rearranging songs and determining the parts for instruments. After song leading on Sunday, some of the songs stay in my mind and I was reminded of God's grace and providence during the week.

Monday night, I taught piano, and I had a great time collaborating with my student, teaching him chords and composition basics.

Heard a worship CD last night which brightened my spirits.

Sometimes I wonder what if I pursued and developed deeper my interests in music. Maybe I could have been a music therapist, bring relief to others and myself.

Greater Good 2

Another person in my group is not happy about being overworked. What can I do to help this poor girl, who is only a graduate, having been in our group for less than 2 months, and already working endlessly weekdays and weekends, with no breaks. I feel sorry for her. In alot of respects, I understand her, as I am going through similar emotions.

Maybe it is time for me to do something, and speak out on behalf of the group. This can't last forever, and I just can't think of myself. Maybe I should do something for the greater good. I can't just hope things will change.

Play! - A Video Game Symphony

Attending the show makes me realise how much work goes behind the music we take for granted in games. It also brings back memories from childhood, when I was playing games such as Super Mario Bros and Zelda, and made me appreciate how much my parents have given me when I was young. Listening to music from Final Fantasy and Halo reminds me of the explosion of the instant messaging and how this has changed our way of communication forever. While music from World of Warcraft and later games reminds me of my age.

V-Tech Rampage

Recently, a game appeared on the internet, titled V-Tech Rampage, which uses the events of the Virginia Tech massacre earlier this year. The game involves the player playing the role of Cho, the perpetrator in the actual massacre. There are three stages in the game reflecting the events of the massacre - the killing of the girl he liked, the sending of the parcel to the media and the final shooting spree at the Norris Hill building.

The game is so realistic that it sends chills down my spine when playing it. Alot of debate has subsequently be made as to whether it is ethical for the creator to make such games, as the game seems to glorify such killings.

However, the same argument can apply to war games people play, such as Medal of Honour or Civilization. We are more insensitive to these games as the events happen in a different time period to our current age and time. But these games also seem to be glorifying killings with ultimate winner is the one who defeats the other side(s) by killing.

Should we think more about the games we play?

Gone

Everyone is gone....or will be going... why is God taking everyone away from me? These are people that I rely on and that I have a close bond with. I missed those who are already gone and I know I will miss those who will be going. There is also a risk that once people are gone, people change or I change, and the relationship will never be the same again.

But maybe for their happiness and well being, leaving is a good thing for them. Maybe all I should do is to show my support for them, in their pursuit of dreams and happiness.

Farewell... take care...

Greater good?

The whole debacle with the bad boss blew up yesterday, with my secretary being involved and I was dragged into it. I am still too emotional to describe the event. It hurts me alot when my secretary is so upset. I also hurts me when graduate lawyers are so unhappy but they have no way to escape. They all come to me for help, but I am, in a way, in the same situation as them.

Maybe for the greater good, I have to complain to management, at the expense of my career, so that justice can be restored. The group is so disfunctional at the moment that it is not helping. The other boss in the group knows, but I question the extent of his involvement since there is a clear conflict of interest for him to be really involved.

I am more and more inclined to do the greater good. It will be a liberation for me. I think this is what it takes to be a leader?

Endless work

Working later and later these days... physically and mentally tired...

Doesn't help that I am still working for that stupid boss, who 'tries' to be nice, but is rude in every respect...

A boss who emails me every minute to ask me whether I have done a task when he full well knows I am working on it...

A boss who promises clients ridiculous deadlines...

A boss who only wants me to do work for his clients, telling me to ignore other clients of other bosses (and even some of my own clients)...

A boss who gets upset as I had to attend a client function with another boss and he wasn't invited...

A boss who is petty...

If he continues in this way, I will not just blog, I will just walk out. I have gone through that scenario in my head and it will be an attractive alternative if I continue to suffer mental tortures from him.

Realisation

I sometimes wonder how young people nowadays can just stand there and do nothing while others do things around them.

Aren't they taught to help out when older people are doing things? How can they just stand there and continue chatting when they see older people trying to lift things and move things? Even if you ask them to do it, they pretend that they don't know you.

Now I realise why they do it. It is because their parents don't require them to do anything at home. Their parents do everything for them. So to them it is normal for older people to do things while they stand around and do nothing. They don't think they need to do something.

If their parents don't even ask them to do things at home, how can you ask them to do things outside of home?