Gone

Everyone is gone....or will be going... why is God taking everyone away from me? These are people that I rely on and that I have a close bond with. I missed those who are already gone and I know I will miss those who will be going. There is also a risk that once people are gone, people change or I change, and the relationship will never be the same again.

But maybe for their happiness and well being, leaving is a good thing for them. Maybe all I should do is to show my support for them, in their pursuit of dreams and happiness.

Farewell... take care...

Greater good?

The whole debacle with the bad boss blew up yesterday, with my secretary being involved and I was dragged into it. I am still too emotional to describe the event. It hurts me alot when my secretary is so upset. I also hurts me when graduate lawyers are so unhappy but they have no way to escape. They all come to me for help, but I am, in a way, in the same situation as them.

Maybe for the greater good, I have to complain to management, at the expense of my career, so that justice can be restored. The group is so disfunctional at the moment that it is not helping. The other boss in the group knows, but I question the extent of his involvement since there is a clear conflict of interest for him to be really involved.

I am more and more inclined to do the greater good. It will be a liberation for me. I think this is what it takes to be a leader?

Endless work

Working later and later these days... physically and mentally tired...

Doesn't help that I am still working for that stupid boss, who 'tries' to be nice, but is rude in every respect...

A boss who emails me every minute to ask me whether I have done a task when he full well knows I am working on it...

A boss who promises clients ridiculous deadlines...

A boss who only wants me to do work for his clients, telling me to ignore other clients of other bosses (and even some of my own clients)...

A boss who gets upset as I had to attend a client function with another boss and he wasn't invited...

A boss who is petty...

If he continues in this way, I will not just blog, I will just walk out. I have gone through that scenario in my head and it will be an attractive alternative if I continue to suffer mental tortures from him.

Realisation

I sometimes wonder how young people nowadays can just stand there and do nothing while others do things around them.

Aren't they taught to help out when older people are doing things? How can they just stand there and continue chatting when they see older people trying to lift things and move things? Even if you ask them to do it, they pretend that they don't know you.

Now I realise why they do it. It is because their parents don't require them to do anything at home. Their parents do everything for them. So to them it is normal for older people to do things while they stand around and do nothing. They don't think they need to do something.

If their parents don't even ask them to do things at home, how can you ask them to do things outside of home?

God's work

Why are God's work being shoved around from person to person? Why are some people so burdened with everything, while others are not burdened at all?

People are so protective of themselves. They do not want to step out of their comfort zone. If they are offered a role in one ministry, they would only be concerned about that ministry. What about if their ministry is very narrow, and another person's ministry is very broad? Does that mean that everything is done by the other person, and that person does nothing, even though that person knows the other person has so much on?

Isn't it a privilege for us to serve God? Why don't people take things on even if they are in a leadership role? How can one influence others if our leaders are like that, trying to shove things to other leaders?

Father to son

Its rare to have a deep and meaningful with our parents, especially as we grow older and have our own life and its associated problems.

So it was great to have been able to talk to my dad that night, until 2:30am in the morning, about my current struggles with careers and work. The insight he gave me was invaluable. Although no answer came out of it, at least I can arm myself with a new perspective and the knowledge that my parents would probably support me in what I do because of their love for me.

Treasure our time with our parents, for these times won't last forever.

Fighting over me...

My previous boss has left, and now three other bosses are fighting over me. Each one of them wants me to give priority to their work. This is the worse situation to be in - right in the midst of politics.

Do I feel a sense of importance? Do I feel happy? No. I just feel tired. Mentally tired. Tired of politics. Tired of work.

If I feel like this now, how can I survive in a more harsher environment such as law firms in the UK, HK or US?

Maybe I would be happier if three girls are fighting over me...