Our lifes are covered by lies and half truths.
Why don't we all learn to say the truth?
To parents:
1. If you are not happy with my choices in life, just let me know. You can be supportive even if you don't agree with me. Even though I may still make those choices in the end, I just want the truth from you.
2. If I am unhappy and I don't want to talk about it, just let me be. Sometimes I need my own space!
To girls:
1. If you don't like me, just say it to my face. It hurts me more when you pretend to be nice and lead me on. I rather know the truth sooner than later. If you like me, be sure to let me know. I am tired of guessing games.
2. If I am busy and can't find time, then please understand. Sometimes there are urgent things in life that I need to take care of. It is not an indication that you are not important or that I don't like you.
To close friends:
1. If you don't want to entertain me, just let me know. It is better to reject me sooner than to hold me off and reject me afterwards. Since we are close friends, just tell me straight in the face without implying things which I may misinterpret. Also, if you don't want me to ask you things, let me know. I respect that you need your space and privacy.
2. If I don't want to talk about things, just let me be. It is not because I don't view you as a close friend. It is because sometimes I need to go through things myself and feel uncomfortable talking about it.
To bosses:
1. If my work is not up to scratch, tell me. Don't use flowery language and say that I am good but there are some points I need to improve. Tell me straight and let me handle it.
2. If I have an off day, try to understand. I may be having some personal crisis which may affect my work performance.
Isn't it ironic that we all go through the same things, but it seems like noone wants to say the truth to others.
Well, by writing this blog, and making things so generic, I am also not able to say the truth to people around me.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Understanding the pain
Who understands the pain
Of seeing people changing
And no longer can we confide in them
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of the impact of physical separation
And resulting in a change in relationships
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of realising that noone understands us
And we feel so alone living in this world
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of seeing the person we love at a wedding
And realising we are only a guest and not the groom
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of the feeling of loss and hopelessness
And not knowing what our purpose is in this world
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of not knowing what happened to a person
And remembering the closeness we once shared
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of seeing people close to us grow old and die
And the regret from knowing that they are eternally separated from us
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of seeing people making the same mistakes as us
And not knowing how to help them in a way they find acceptable
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of hatred towards ourselves for the things we think and do
And knowing how hard it is to change and renew
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of betrayal of trust and friendship
And not able to see this until we have lost everything
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of trying to express our deeper emotions in writing
And realising that we have not even scratched the surface
Who understands the pain?
Of seeing people changing
And no longer can we confide in them
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of the impact of physical separation
And resulting in a change in relationships
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of realising that noone understands us
And we feel so alone living in this world
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of seeing the person we love at a wedding
And realising we are only a guest and not the groom
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of the feeling of loss and hopelessness
And not knowing what our purpose is in this world
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of not knowing what happened to a person
And remembering the closeness we once shared
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of seeing people close to us grow old and die
And the regret from knowing that they are eternally separated from us
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of seeing people making the same mistakes as us
And not knowing how to help them in a way they find acceptable
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of hatred towards ourselves for the things we think and do
And knowing how hard it is to change and renew
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of betrayal of trust and friendship
And not able to see this until we have lost everything
Who understands the pain?
Who understands the pain
Of trying to express our deeper emotions in writing
And realising that we have not even scratched the surface
Who understands the pain?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Busy at work?
Alot of people like to ask me whether I am busy at work. Alot of times I don't know how to answer them. And the reason is as follows.
In a professional services firm, the firm measures your performance by the number of "billable" hours you have worked. You are budgeted to work around 6.5 billable hours a day.
Anyone that has been working in a professional services firm would be able to tell you that in order for someone to have 6.5 billable hours, that person would probably need to stay in the office for at least 10 total hours. The reason why this is the case is that alot of work we do are not billable work, like client administration issues (eg looking for files, drafting engaging letters and billing clients), marketing work (eg writing articles or submitting tenders) or administration work (eg team meetings, reading new legislation or drafting precedents). Only actual work done for clients (eg documents, advices, certain meetings) are billable.
On the days when I have not much billable work, I may be doing non billable work for the full day, but my timesheet reflects that I have not done any billable work. Therefore, I may be busy in my own eyes, but to the firm, I have not performed on that day, since I have not done any billable work. Is this fair? It's hard to say, but this is the environment that I work in.
Therefore, it is always hard for me to answer the question whether I am busy because of this distinction between billable and non billable.
It is the pressure to meet the budget of billable hours that causes so much stress and anxiety in professional services firms.
In a professional services firm, the firm measures your performance by the number of "billable" hours you have worked. You are budgeted to work around 6.5 billable hours a day.
Anyone that has been working in a professional services firm would be able to tell you that in order for someone to have 6.5 billable hours, that person would probably need to stay in the office for at least 10 total hours. The reason why this is the case is that alot of work we do are not billable work, like client administration issues (eg looking for files, drafting engaging letters and billing clients), marketing work (eg writing articles or submitting tenders) or administration work (eg team meetings, reading new legislation or drafting precedents). Only actual work done for clients (eg documents, advices, certain meetings) are billable.
On the days when I have not much billable work, I may be doing non billable work for the full day, but my timesheet reflects that I have not done any billable work. Therefore, I may be busy in my own eyes, but to the firm, I have not performed on that day, since I have not done any billable work. Is this fair? It's hard to say, but this is the environment that I work in.
Therefore, it is always hard for me to answer the question whether I am busy because of this distinction between billable and non billable.
It is the pressure to meet the budget of billable hours that causes so much stress and anxiety in professional services firms.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Animal Welfare
There has been an increasing awareness for animal welfare over the past couple of years. Wearing mink is becoming out of fashion due to the way the cruelty in raising these animals in small cages for their fur. People are being jailed for mistreating young animals such as kittens or small dogs if caught by authorties. The bogus website, Bonsai Kittens, caused a worldwide retaliation to the purported treatment of kittens in Japan. The list goes on.
Animal welfare activists argue that animals should not be mistreated and they have as much right to live without threat or restrictions as most of us enjoy.
However, they only apply their principles to certain animals. They rarely protest against farmed fishes, where many fishes are kept in a small pond with little room for them to swim in. Noone will arrest a little boy that uses a piece of glass to burn ants alive using the rays from the sun. Killing mosquitos, flies or spiders through bug sprays or pest control measures are not seen as acts of cruelty but are strongly encouraged. The list goes on.
These creatures are all animals. They have a right to live just like all other animals. Why are we preferring some classes of animals over others in terms of how we treat them? Why is it okay to kill a bug by ripping its wings off and tearing its body parts bit or bit, but not okay to bash and kick a kitten?
Shouldn't we have the same standards for all animals?
Ironically, in our society, we are all being mistreated by others. Our lifestyle is restricted by a number of factors such as our background, wealth and personality. People are being treated differently and some are being treated really harshly. We think that humans enjoy rights and freedom but in effect, we are no better off than the animals we talked about. Some of us are like kittens, protected by society, and any harsh treatments on them will not be condoned. Others are like bugs, being neglected and hated by society, some of which are destroyed or killed with invalid justifications.
Animal welfare activists argue that animals should not be mistreated and they have as much right to live without threat or restrictions as most of us enjoy.
However, they only apply their principles to certain animals. They rarely protest against farmed fishes, where many fishes are kept in a small pond with little room for them to swim in. Noone will arrest a little boy that uses a piece of glass to burn ants alive using the rays from the sun. Killing mosquitos, flies or spiders through bug sprays or pest control measures are not seen as acts of cruelty but are strongly encouraged. The list goes on.
These creatures are all animals. They have a right to live just like all other animals. Why are we preferring some classes of animals over others in terms of how we treat them? Why is it okay to kill a bug by ripping its wings off and tearing its body parts bit or bit, but not okay to bash and kick a kitten?
Shouldn't we have the same standards for all animals?
Ironically, in our society, we are all being mistreated by others. Our lifestyle is restricted by a number of factors such as our background, wealth and personality. People are being treated differently and some are being treated really harshly. We think that humans enjoy rights and freedom but in effect, we are no better off than the animals we talked about. Some of us are like kittens, protected by society, and any harsh treatments on them will not be condoned. Others are like bugs, being neglected and hated by society, some of which are destroyed or killed with invalid justifications.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Addiction
Our society is concerned about prevention of drug, cigarette or alcohol addictions, as we perceive such addictions to be harmful to people and will also cause a detriment to society resulting in an increase in crimes or violence.
However, there is an addiction prevalent among the youths in our society that we have failed to address. This is the addiction to computer games.
On one level, computer games are beneficial. Games such as Battlefield 1942 will actually allow players to learn about World War 2. Other games such as Civ IV or World of Warcraft enable players to think in a strategic manner. Games are fun, they are interactive, which in a way is more appealing to young people than a book or movie since a player can control and experience the world in the game, as opposed to being an observer.
However, games are highly addictive. Some people are so addicted to their games that they will spend all their time playing the game. They will stay in their rooms all day long, ignoring their family, their friends or any vistors to their house. It is not uncommon to have people playing online games for 16 hours per day, with a small break every now and then for toilet or cup noodles. They begin to lose all social contact and their only means of contact is with other players in the game by fighting with them and helping noobs to gain XP. They are so engrossed in their game that they will wake up in the middle of the night checking their auctions and racking up kills in BG. Their aim in life is to gain as much honour points as possible. They would feel that they have learnt all golden rules in life through a game, but all they've learnt are principles such as never trusting the Spanish, aiming in front of the target when Sniping, switching between a Pistol and a Shotgun can be beneficial if used correctly, and jumping of bridges with 15 health left is not a good idea.
Moderation (not moderator) is the key! Games can be fun but the world is a big place. Addicts should go out and experience it. It is bigger than the maps or campaigns in any game. They should learn to enjoy life by enjoying the company of others. Otherwise, there will be regret when they realise that they have a total of 3650 days spent on WOW, and no time with their friends and family, most of which will no longer be there when they realise this. Or maybe when their health deteriorates from tendinitis or other illness, they will realise the impact of games on their health.
We should all pay more attention to this type of addiction!
However, there is an addiction prevalent among the youths in our society that we have failed to address. This is the addiction to computer games.
On one level, computer games are beneficial. Games such as Battlefield 1942 will actually allow players to learn about World War 2. Other games such as Civ IV or World of Warcraft enable players to think in a strategic manner. Games are fun, they are interactive, which in a way is more appealing to young people than a book or movie since a player can control and experience the world in the game, as opposed to being an observer.
However, games are highly addictive. Some people are so addicted to their games that they will spend all their time playing the game. They will stay in their rooms all day long, ignoring their family, their friends or any vistors to their house. It is not uncommon to have people playing online games for 16 hours per day, with a small break every now and then for toilet or cup noodles. They begin to lose all social contact and their only means of contact is with other players in the game by fighting with them and helping noobs to gain XP. They are so engrossed in their game that they will wake up in the middle of the night checking their auctions and racking up kills in BG. Their aim in life is to gain as much honour points as possible. They would feel that they have learnt all golden rules in life through a game, but all they've learnt are principles such as never trusting the Spanish, aiming in front of the target when Sniping, switching between a Pistol and a Shotgun can be beneficial if used correctly, and jumping of bridges with 15 health left is not a good idea.
Moderation (not moderator) is the key! Games can be fun but the world is a big place. Addicts should go out and experience it. It is bigger than the maps or campaigns in any game. They should learn to enjoy life by enjoying the company of others. Otherwise, there will be regret when they realise that they have a total of 3650 days spent on WOW, and no time with their friends and family, most of which will no longer be there when they realise this. Or maybe when their health deteriorates from tendinitis or other illness, they will realise the impact of games on their health.
We should all pay more attention to this type of addiction!
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