1. Silence - Sometimes people may need space and independance to handle their own problems. Trying to force people to express their feelings when they are not ready may lead to disaster. We should learn to respect people if they are not willing to tell us the things that are bothering them, but at the same time, show them that we care and support them whether they want to tell us of their problems or not.
2. Patience - In this instanteous world, all of us are losing this virtue in our lives. We want everything to be quick and instant. We want our MSN messages to be answered instantly or else we will 'nudge' the other person for a response. We expect SMSs to be answered quickly too, or else we will ring the person straight away for a response. We lose patience with people as well, as there are more opportunities for us to meet new people.
3. Competititon - Are we competing with others without realising this is the case? Do we compare what we do with what others have done, such as comparing a church function this year with the same function last year organised by a differnet person? Do we strive to win and beat our opponents, even in such things as a simple game of pool or simple board games? Are we competing with each other in terms of our life stages such as timing of marraige and having babies? Maybe thats a reflection of the society we live in - all of us are born to compete to be distinct among others - in the same way that ancient Greeks strive for 'honour' in their short life.
4. Talk - Everyone can talk, but will they action? Its easy to say things. Its easy to blame others. But do we 'walk the talk'? We seem to have a different standards for ourselves (full of excuses) than others (no mercy shown).
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Treating people
Are we treating people right? We tend to hurt the people closest to us. Our family, our lover or our friends.
And in the same way, the people that hurt us the most are these people.
How should we treat people that are close to us? How do we show more appreciation for them? How should we love them?
In alot of situations, the solution is relatively simple. A mother yearns for her son to come home and taste the food she has made slaving over the hot stove for the whole afternoon. A wife yearns for her lover to return home early from work so that they can enjoy a night together. A friend yearns for his friend to understand him and be available for a chat or a drink when he feels lonely or upset.
But we tend not to do these things. We tend to tell our mothers that we will be home for dinner, but end up going out and getting drunk and not coming home at all. We tend to tell our wives that we will be home early, but we will hang around the office trying to finish off our work not realising that we have already worked past midnight. We tend to make excuses when our friends call us at inconvenient times, telling our friends that we are not available as we are too tired to talk or go out, or we tell them we will go and then change our minds at the last minute.
Maybe we are treating ourselves too well, and have neglected to treat well the people closest to us.
And in the same way, the people that hurt us the most are these people.
How should we treat people that are close to us? How do we show more appreciation for them? How should we love them?
In alot of situations, the solution is relatively simple. A mother yearns for her son to come home and taste the food she has made slaving over the hot stove for the whole afternoon. A wife yearns for her lover to return home early from work so that they can enjoy a night together. A friend yearns for his friend to understand him and be available for a chat or a drink when he feels lonely or upset.
But we tend not to do these things. We tend to tell our mothers that we will be home for dinner, but end up going out and getting drunk and not coming home at all. We tend to tell our wives that we will be home early, but we will hang around the office trying to finish off our work not realising that we have already worked past midnight. We tend to make excuses when our friends call us at inconvenient times, telling our friends that we are not available as we are too tired to talk or go out, or we tell them we will go and then change our minds at the last minute.
Maybe we are treating ourselves too well, and have neglected to treat well the people closest to us.
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