Relational habits

When you are single, you are free to do whatever you want, with no consideration for other people. You can make your own decisions, satisfy your own desires, and do what you want to do at your own pace and in your own time. Being single means you have more time on your hands, and you usually fill this time up with other interests. So your life will never be dull or boring.

If you have been single for a while, and you acquire a partner, you will need to readjust your life in order to "fit" that person in. This means forgoing some of your interests, so as to make room in your life for that person. This may be hard for some people to do, and so they will remain single until they learn to do this.

It also means that you may need to make decisions based on the interests of the other person, and not based on what you want. This may be hard, as you are accustomed to making decisions based on what you want.

This will be more difficult if the other person is also accustomed in making their own decisions and they may not easily accomodate your interests. This may lead to a compromised decision - a decision that both parties may not be happy with, since each party is accustomed to what they want normally. This may eventually lead to each party reverting back to their single lifestyle, since they are so accustomed to what each of them wants. It may be difficult for these people to find another person in their lives.

The opposite applies to a person who has been in a relationship for a long time. They are accustomed to having another person with them, and so when they break up, they have alot of free time. These people will tend to find another person relatively quickly after their breakup to fill this vaccum in their lives.

Need we say a word?

It started off with no words spoken. Our relationship with each other was communicated in feelings and emotions expressed through our mutual actions to one another. Of all the things we discussed, we never mention anything about our relationship with one another. Maybe we didn't think it was important, as we were living within the inner depths and realms of our emotions.

And then when I was hurt, and no longer able to confront her, all communications ceased dramatically. There were no expectations of an explanation. Maybe it wasnt important whether an explanation was needed, maybe we both knew that everything was over, feelings were being changed, and we no longer continued to live in the realms of our emotions. Maybe our emotions got a hold of us, without us really willing to accept each other in a way which we did not expect. Maybe we were too used to be individuals and tried to enforce our idealistic values on one another.

Maybe it is better this way as we may hurt each other more with the things we want to say.

Hurt...3

As I continue to wonder whether I will find the right person...

I attended a wedding on the weekend where I was asked "So when is your turn?" to which I could not answer... cos it hurts me inside...

and

I received a wedding invitation in the post today from a friend who is getting married next year... it doesn't come as a surprise, but still hurts me as I feel like I am alone...

and

A younger friend told me of his wedding plans in 2 years time... it hurts if I see these younger people getting married ahead of me...

*sigh*