When I was young, I looked forward to my birthday. I looked forward to the red boiled egg I would receive from my primary school. I looked forward to the great party food I would be having including pineapple sausages. I looked forward to my birthday cake especially if it was a black forest cake. I looked forward to a gathering of friends and relatives, enjoying their company and their love for me. I looked forward to the presents I would receive, especially if they were digital gadgets or games.
As I grow older, birthday celebrations become less and less important in my life. Sometimes it becomes a chore for me to organise my own birthday party. When I was 21, I held a large birthday party more to entertain my friends than for me to enjoy as I did not want to be the odd one out for not having a proper 21st birthday party. As I begin to work, I realise that presents are not important to me anymore, as I am able to buy what I want whenever I want.
My most memorable birthday was last year, when it was also the day before my father had a major operation. I did not really celebrate it, but just had a small gathering with friends a few days before. I did not care about my birthday last year as my thoughts and prayers were all centred on my father.
As my birthday approaches in 10 days time, what do I want? I am not looking forward to receiving extravagant gifts. If you ask me for a specific gift, it will be simple things like a money clip or the new Coldplay CD. Maybe what I really want is for people to just send me a simple wish or acknowledge their appreication for what I mean to them. Maybe as I grow older, I tend to value relationships with people around me more than materialistic gifts.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Friday, July 29, 2005
Living in the past
"Don't live in the past! Move on and look to the future!"
Most of us would have heard this statement in one form or another before. But how true is this statement?
All of us are constantly living in the past. Our brain is filled with thoughts, mostly of memories from the past. The intensity of our feelings increases as we are invoked by memories or feelings from the past. Our whole character is being moulded by our past experiences. Our past affects the way we look to the future.
How can we not live in the past?
Ironically, the more we try to forget about the past, the stronger the memories become.
Maybe we can only experience the present and the future once the present and the future becomes the past.
Most of us would have heard this statement in one form or another before. But how true is this statement?
All of us are constantly living in the past. Our brain is filled with thoughts, mostly of memories from the past. The intensity of our feelings increases as we are invoked by memories or feelings from the past. Our whole character is being moulded by our past experiences. Our past affects the way we look to the future.
How can we not live in the past?
Ironically, the more we try to forget about the past, the stronger the memories become.
Maybe we can only experience the present and the future once the present and the future becomes the past.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Leaving on a jet plane
In our age and culture, we are accustomed to people around us moving to another country to work. Every time someone leaves us, we feel a sense of loss, as we know that when they are not physically present with us, our relationship with them may change. Even though technology is advanced with the advent of emails and online messaging, there is a difference between someone physically beside you and someone who is far away in another place using technological means of communication. Technology can only bring people to a certain level, but true closest is having people around you who are experiencing what you are going through, as opposed to someone who is only receiving a report of what has happened. That is why whenever someone close to me leave to work or live in another place, I feel a sense of loss as I know that my relationship with that person may change as a result.
What is most tragic is the fact that each relationship with a person is unique and no other person can actually replace any relatioship that has been tainted due to the absence of physical contact.
What is most tragic is the fact that each relationship with a person is unique and no other person can actually replace any relatioship that has been tainted due to the absence of physical contact.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
In the minds of the terrorists
New information was releaased in London as to the identity of the people involved in the bombings in London. These people were your average local English people, born or raised up in the UK in an ethnic family, with similar tastes and interests as other Brits. Why would they do such an act?
Maybe they understood how alienated they were from society. Although they all had things to do in life, they didn't know what they were doing here in life. Maybe they were not able to find fulfilment in life. They didn't have a purpose in life. Even though they had family and friends aroudn them, these family and friends would be concerned about the trivial things in life, like what to wear or where to eat, but couldn't give them an answer as to why they were here in life. And as they try to search within themselves, they searched back to their roots, to the origin of their family, and rediscovered their religion in a new meaningful way. Given the state they were in, it would only take a few people to convince them to die, if they were convinced that their death would serve as a purpose of why they were born in this world. If they believed that through death, they could bring salvation to their family, they would sacrifice their lives. If they believed that through death, their life would have meaning and that they were able to escape from this meaningless world, they would do it. If deep in their hearts, they knew that alot of ordinary people feel the same way, and that death is just an escape for these people as well from this world we live in, they would carry out the attacks with no hesitation.
If we understood these emotions and feelings, maybe each one of us has a potential to be a terrorist.
Maybe they understood how alienated they were from society. Although they all had things to do in life, they didn't know what they were doing here in life. Maybe they were not able to find fulfilment in life. They didn't have a purpose in life. Even though they had family and friends aroudn them, these family and friends would be concerned about the trivial things in life, like what to wear or where to eat, but couldn't give them an answer as to why they were here in life. And as they try to search within themselves, they searched back to their roots, to the origin of their family, and rediscovered their religion in a new meaningful way. Given the state they were in, it would only take a few people to convince them to die, if they were convinced that their death would serve as a purpose of why they were born in this world. If they believed that through death, they could bring salvation to their family, they would sacrifice their lives. If they believed that through death, their life would have meaning and that they were able to escape from this meaningless world, they would do it. If deep in their hearts, they knew that alot of ordinary people feel the same way, and that death is just an escape for these people as well from this world we live in, they would carry out the attacks with no hesitation.
If we understood these emotions and feelings, maybe each one of us has a potential to be a terrorist.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Attacks
Nearly four years ago, I sat in awe as I watched the drama unfold on TV. Planes were crashing into the World Trade Centre at New York. People were jumping off buildings, smoke was everywhere, and the buildings actually collapsed right in front of my eyes during the live coverage. I was shocked, dumb founded and worried about people I know that might be there. I can so relate to something happening like that, innocent people in their offices, dying knowing the reason why.
Tonight, I found out as I was staying back at work that there was a bomb attack in London. As I read the internet sites, horror filled my heart. I kept saying the word "FUCK" repeatedly. I actually know people that are in London, working there, living there, and some of them are my very close friends. I have been to London before, and I actually know those places where the bombs went off. I can imagine what was happening and how chaotic it must have been. I am still in shock and am still waiting on news from some of them including one of my close friends who is over there for a three month work experience.
But it seems like life goes on for alot of people. When I went online tonight, noone seems to care about the attacks. Some of them don't even know what was happening even though this would be one of the biggest news of the year. I guess most of us are still living in our own "no man's land".
Tonight, I found out as I was staying back at work that there was a bomb attack in London. As I read the internet sites, horror filled my heart. I kept saying the word "FUCK" repeatedly. I actually know people that are in London, working there, living there, and some of them are my very close friends. I have been to London before, and I actually know those places where the bombs went off. I can imagine what was happening and how chaotic it must have been. I am still in shock and am still waiting on news from some of them including one of my close friends who is over there for a three month work experience.
But it seems like life goes on for alot of people. When I went online tonight, noone seems to care about the attacks. Some of them don't even know what was happening even though this would be one of the biggest news of the year. I guess most of us are still living in our own "no man's land".
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Empathy
"The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real state, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith." (Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970)
How often in our most distressed times are we able to experience empathy from other people? How often do we experience sympathy from others but not empathy from others.
Empathy is the ability to "glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe". It is not just the ability to listen to people, but to experience with them what they are experiencing. Maybe people are too self focused nowadays to develop an empathy for other people.
In the same way, do we emphasise with other people? Or are we also too self focused on our own problems.
Maybe the irony of all this is the fact that we are all too self focused on our own individual needs, which results in our longing for others to empathise with us.
How often in our most distressed times are we able to experience empathy from other people? How often do we experience sympathy from others but not empathy from others.
Empathy is the ability to "glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe". It is not just the ability to listen to people, but to experience with them what they are experiencing. Maybe people are too self focused nowadays to develop an empathy for other people.
In the same way, do we emphasise with other people? Or are we also too self focused on our own problems.
Maybe the irony of all this is the fact that we are all too self focused on our own individual needs, which results in our longing for others to empathise with us.
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